Sure, that purple shirt and white pants looks great on that other girl, but if you were to wear it, you'd begin having an identity crisis. Black is your style, and no matter how many times people suggest you try something else, you know nothing will look as good on you as that all black outfit. You don't have to worry about if it's past labor day or finding accessories that match, you just rock the all black and no one's going to stop you.
Your entire closet is black.
When you're trying to find that one shirt it takes an upwards of 10 minutes because everything looks exactly the same. Your roommate might suggest, "Just wear the other one, they all look the same." But she doesn't understand that just because it's black doesn't mean it's the same.
Your mom has told you to start wearing color.
From buying you patterned shirts for Christmas to holding pastel clothes up in the store saying how pretty you'd look in it, she'll never understand that it's just not your style.
You're not goth.
Some people might not understand the difference, but you know that you're definitely not goth. You don't wear chains and black lipstick.
You know that your clothes don't necessarily match.
You have to take shade, texture and style into consideration before you can throw two black things together. But it's still a little easier to get ready than if you had colors and patterns involved in the mix.
You get annoyed if a shirt doesn't come in black.
Whether in stores or online shopping, you automatically look for the black version of any top you like. And when it doesn't exist, you just can't comprehend why they wouldn't make it in the best color there is.
Your attire matches your soul.
Or at least your resting bitch face, which by the way is now scientifically proven.
Owning a dog can be a hassle.
You're torn between loving to play with it and hating that sticky roller brush that never quite gets all the fur off your black jeans.
You don't believe anything will ever be the new black.
Black cannot be replaced. Your wardrobe is timeless, and you'll be able to look chic for many years to come.
You can spill on yourself.
Who has time to be neat when there's Chipotle and pizza to be eaten? A little barbecue sauce on your shorts is no problem, worrying about stains is not something you're familiar with.
You automatically look a little slimmer.
Even if you have Kendall Jenner's body, you still look a little better in that little black dress or your leather skirt and black crop top. Not to mention that it'll look amazing on you whether you're a bronze goddess or a porcelain doll.
Separating laundry isn't a thing you do.
You've tried this, and your lights pile was comprised of a bra and a few pairs of panties that you wished were black anyways, so you just washed them with the rest of your clothes.
Some people might not understand, but most are just envious about how elegant, fierce or sexy you can look without ever adding color. So when white high top chucks are in, rock your black Vans, because you know that black is the greatest color and you're not afraid to show it.
