I didn't know what I was getting myself into when Australian singer-songwriter and Youtube personality Troye Sivan performed the song "Youth" from his debut album Blue Neighbourhood on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon earlier in December. I was vaguely familiar with Sivan because of his presence on Youtube, but I was not prepared for how powerful Sivan's music was. Once I was introduced to Troye Sivan, there was no going back.
After Sivan's stellar performance, I started listening to more songs from his recently released debut album (side note: I want to see a dance battle between Sivan and Lorde as soon as possible). I found myself moved by the collection of songs on Blue Neighbourhood. I could see pieces of myself in this album as I listened to it. This is the kind of album I wish I had when I was 14 - songs that tell stories of growing up, experiencing the ups and downs of same-sex relationships, feeling out of place in your own "blue neighbourhood," and learning to love yourself in spite of the pain and discomfort that comes along with feeling different than everyone else.
Sivan stands out because he sings about growing up gay in an honest, poetic and heartfelt manner, and this is something we don't get to hear often in mainstream music. In this regard, Sivan is a trailblazer (and so is Sam Smith - I could never forget Sam Smith). In an interview with Advocate, Sivan said, "I feel like gay relationships are sexualized in the media and I just wanted to show a romantic, adorable, puppy love situation between two little boys because that's something we never ever see."
Sivan has been through so much to feel comfortable with himself, and this journey of self-discovery is a theme that makes his songs feel personal. I feel like Troye understands so many aspects of growing up gay that I could never adequately explain to anyone. He knows what it's like to feel like something is wrong with you even if you have support from your family and friends. He's been through the "forbidden love in a small suburb" situation once or twice (as seen in the "Blue Neighbourhood" music video trilogy, which follows the story of childhood friends-turned-lovers whose relationship experiences a harsh dose of real-life drama). And in "Heaven," perhaps the hardest-hitting song on the album, Sivan contemplates whether he can still get into heaven if he is openly gay.
I'm almost 20, and I feel like so much has changed for the LGBT community since I came out four years ago. There are more role models than ever who are vocal about making sure LGBT youth know they are not alone - and Sivan can proudly call himself one of them, especially after coming out via Youtube to about 3 million subscribers. I had no idea who to look up to or who I could talk to when I was 14. If Blue Neighbourhood existed a few years ago, I'm sure it would have helped me make a little more sense of my life.
