This time last year, and the year before that, and the year before that, numbers consumed me. From the number on the scale to the caloric quantity in my food and the number of calories I burned on the treadmill, I was a minion to my mind.
In my mind, this time of year marked the countdown to summer. Or the short amount of time I had left to quickly dispose of my mini pudge of holiday memories (AKA my Aunt Darlene's banana pudding) and late pizza nights. The dangerous feeling of a clock ticking to summer and the beach led to extreme measures that still leave me up at night in disbelief.
The mind of an avid perfectionist can be a dark place to be
I don't obsess over everything. I understand the concept of things being out of our control at times. But when I can control something? Like my education? My physique? I go 1000% in. Sometimes I go too far in and can't get out, but not anymore.
Reversing a trigger, especially when it's a season, is not easy
It's not easy to reverse triggers, especially when mine is a certain time of year, but it's necessary to live our best lives! This applies to anything stealing our energy that is meant to enhance our quality of life. I need to make a conscious effort everyday to not spend so much time working out and directing my energy towards other hobbies, like reading and writing. I need to choose memories over calories and missed workouts for good times with my loved ones.
This is the most beautiful time of the year and I plan to enjoy it
Instead of worrying about the bathing suits appearing in every store's window, I plan to enjoy May's flowers' blooms, symbolizing a new beginning. Despite the eye-blurring pollen, my past "countdown" season is actually the prettiest time of year. Since reversing my trigger of spring, I can now focus on its beauty and take advantage of its ability to give me a fresh start.