1. Use jokes. Guys like jokes. Make jokes and laugh at their jokes. A sense of humor shows that you're "one of the guys" and also feminine and totally not one of the guys, because gross. The point is: humor is sexy. Particularly in the form of jokes. (Get confused while telling or hearing raunchy jokes. Butcher the punchline or pretend not to know what a "blue" word means. You don't want to appear TOO savvy, you know?)
2. Don't hug him unless he asks for a hug in writing. When the submission has been approved by a committee of your most religious friends, don't fully embrace him but cross yourself as he embraces you. You don't want to appear easy. If he accidentally gets sideboob you'll both feel awkward, and he'll judge you for making him feel that way. Don't be that chick. That chick is the worst.
3. Demand he puts a ring on it before you agree to a drink. He'll know you value yourself.
4. In every picture, be laughing. Men like fun, carefree girls. Even when there's no camera, freeze yourself in a laughing expression.
5. Tell him he's literally the fastest runner in the world. Or that he probably has a big penis and you can't wait to find out for sure on your wedding night. Just throw random, borderline ridiculous compliments at him while hinting at wedding details. "I bet you're good at farming! And capable of fathering many children!" He'll be more aroused than creeped out.
6. Be barefoot. It shows how laid back and low maintenance you are. Also be in the kitchen, even if you're not cooking. You could be scrapbooking, knitting or doing something equally domestic and erotic. But you: barefoot and in the kitchen. He'll get the hint.
7. Talk about how inappropriately close you are to your daddy. It will make him jealous and want to be the alpha male, to compete with your dad by claiming you as his.
8. Openly mock feminism, but don't come across as excessively racist. That will show you're non-threatening.
9. Order a salad, then don't eat more than half of it. But don't be wasteful! Ask for the rest of it to go. It will show him you care about your body and his money.
10. Talk about ethics and morals, but not specifically what you think is moral/ethical. Just explain that you think morals and ethics are good and important. Avoid expressing your political opinion beyond the phrase "I agree."
11. Talk about how much you love your women friends, but just as friends. Unless he seems into it. Then talk about how much you love making out with women, but just as friends. Try to dance that delicate line that puts in his head the picture of you with other women, but avoids sexual agency.
12. Wear clothes. The right clothes. Clothes that suggest you're dying to get hitched, but not desperate for a husband. Dying, not desperate. It's a crucial difference. The point is, be a lady. Wear "lady" clothes. You know? Of course you do.
