I'm not new to writing articles like this.
I know that I've written my fair share of articles that contained prophetic messages of moving on from people we once called friends or family.
You may be thinking to yourself, "just get over it, already," or "just move on."
But the truth is, it's a continuous learning and growing process.
You must learn a lot about yourself and others in order to grow and move on.
Truly and deeply learning about yourself means you must be open to and willing to accept being at fault at times when you believed you were right, and how you may not always know best, despite your own belief.
It's incredibly difficult to admit this sometimes — trust me, I know — I've had times where I was undoubtedly sure of my beliefs or feelings, and then later realized how I falsely inflated them to be something they were not.
However, this learning also applies to others. Once someone takes things too far once and makes a situation much worse than it ever had to be, you begin to realize all of the other times they wronged you or made you feel as if you weren't worth their time. It's like a light bulb turning on over your head.
You notice how this person or people are a negative influence on your life.
Or, if they don't fit into this category, they're just someone who seems to never make time for you or never reaches out to you first.
I'm here to say, after a long battle with my own mind of wanting to keep these people in my life because I held on too closely to good memories, let these people go.
If you aren't worth their time, for even just a simple phone call or text, then they aren't worth your time either.
Or if said person or people brings nothing but negative energy to your life, it is best to let them go and fill the gap they left with people who contribute positive energy to your life.
This is easier said than done because as I said before, I hold on to memories of the people and remember the good times we shared. These moments can blind us from the fact that maybe this person wasn't so great, to begin with, or allows us to not realize how one may be consistently putting us on the back burner.
This idea crosses both friends and family lines.
People we once called best friends can quickly become strangers.
People we once called family can quickly become strangers.
We've all heard these cliche quotes before, but you truly don't feel its relevance until it happens to you.
I still find myself growing sad because of these realizations. I want things to go back to how they were.
But, do I actually?
Do I just miss the concept of them? Do I simply miss the laughs and good times?
Take time to truly evaluate how this person or people made you feel, or what they contributed to your life, and how they continue to engage in your life.
If you find yourself struggling to find answers, move on.
Seriously, DO NOT worry about people who don't take the time to worry about you or check up on you.
Even if they weren't a toxic influence when they were a part of your life, it does not matter. You're welcome to keep trying to gain their attention and waste time trying to plan a get-together with them, but if you know it won't actually happen, then please just move on.
Clearly, they have.
So, why should you keep holding on?
I'm not saying you should cut ties with everyone in your life who has wronged you at any point or something like that, but I'm simply stating that you deserve someone who cares about you, wants the best for you and makes time for you.
I haven't talked to people I once called best friends for months because I just stopped trying to reach out after I could see they weren't interested.
I haven't talked to people I once called family in months, and when I question whether or not I should reach out, they continually remind me why I shouldn't because they don't care about me. If they did, they would have reached out to me by now.
It's taken me a long time to accept this, and it's still very much a learning and growing process.
I hope you can do the same with those in your life who have proved they aren't positively contributing to your life or their actions show they don't necessarily want you in it anymore.
You deserve better than that.