Throughout your lifetime, you should most likely encounter people or more specifically friends who aren't exactly the best role-models or influences for you.
At an impressionable young age, we tend to meet these friends through none other than the public school system, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, other than the fact that they blend in with everyone. So how are you to know whether or not your childhood bestfriend is bad for you or to you?! I am going to give you the best examples that I can come up with, and you can decide for yourself!
How To Scope Them Out:
You tend to easily ignore some sure signs that they're really shitty to begin with, but they're your friend, right? They wouldn't do those things to you would they?? The answer is most definitely they would do those things to you. I can assure you that you're not the only one who has fallen for this particular person's trickery. Though, you have played yourself for a fool by ignoring those red flags.. it happens to nearly every single one of us. Most of us just handle it differently but it's time to learn the signs to prevent any toxic friendship or relationship from worsening!
The Signs:
Guilt-tripping. Manipulation. Peer Pressure. Backstabbing. Coercion. Disgustingly Charismatic/Egotistical (in a "My shit doesn't stink" sort of way). Self-Absorbed (Obsessive, but also could be lumped in the previous category). Apathetic (in an non-supportive manner). Center of Attention-It's always about them. The "I Have it Worse" Dramatic Asses. Liars. Thieves. Judgmental. Talks Down to You and others. Throws Things in Your Face (Like money or gifts that you didn't ask for, etc.)
A Scenario:
You are about to move into a new house. Your family bought is as an investment, and they are later going to refurbish and flip the house to sell on the market. They know you're going to college, and have been saving up for a place of your own, so they offer to rent it out to you and a couple of other people. The only requirement is finding roommates. You find roommates, but one cancels, and you start stressing, but your family tells you to stop because they found a way to handle it; therefore, you don't need two roommates anymore, so you can just stick with your living situation now.
Your friend reaches out to you, and asks you if you're still looking for a roommate, and you're really not. But you want to help out and ask anyways. Her significant other moved out of state to be back with their family for a little while, and then decided that they were unhappy being so far away from your friend. Well, your friend's significant other said they would be willing to pay whatever you needed. The problem to begin with was space in the house, and now you have to gear up for telling them your situation now.
Your friend's significant other isn't the one handling all of this though, it is your friend. Your friend didn't want them living with her anymore, and pinned all of this hope into you saying yes, but you didn't want to say yes. You explain the situation as best as you can without sounding rude, but your friend guilt trips you, and stresses that you are their only option and that the significant other has nowhere to go.
You don't know what to do or say at this point because it would sound shitty either way. The friend says that you aren't trying hard enough for this, even though the significant other is older than both of you, and can handle this by themselves if they really wanted to come back. Your friend says that she is shattered because if the roles were reversed, she would do the same for you... even though deep down, you know that she wouldn't because they already abandoned you once before with apartment hunting the day that you got approved.
The Solution:
The situation was dropped, and she didn't apologize for making me feel like a shitty person afterwards either. I have plenty more examples; however, this was the most recent one.
So, yes, toxic friends can be EXTREMELY hard to break away from. Especially if you've known them for a very long time, but sometimes you just gotta know when to say, "When." Enough is enough. If you can't find it in your heart to let them go, then just simply distance yourself and take them in small doses, and shorter visits. It will make a huge difference in the long run!
