What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when someone says best friend? Maybe you get flash backs of middle school, to the girls who were there through your awkward phase. Maybe it’s high school, to the girls who stuffed their face with ice cream with you and wiped tears from your eyes during the notebook after your first heartbreak. Maybe you think of college, to the one person who was able to make all the craziness feel just like home.
What happens when the relationship between you and your so-called best friend is now more awkward than the phase you two went through together in middle school? What if now, shes the one on the other end of that heartbreak from high school? Or maybe she’s the one who’s making home feel like craziness.
This is what we call a friend-breakup. Relationships with your significant other aren’t the only relationships that can be toxic. Sometimes we have to get rid of best friend baggage as well. Sometimes this can be more emotional than a real break up.
For instance, this is the person you have laughed with, cried with, screamed with. For the past decade, or enough time to feel like a decade. This is the person who has stayed constant. Through each new partner.. and breakup. Through each fight with your parents, each shenanigan, the one who had your back all of these years. Then suddenly, it all changes.. and that’s a word we hate, change.
It could have changed slowly or all at once, but I’m sure it went something like this..
1. What’s girl code?
Suddenly guys became more important than the friendship. You catch her out with the guy you were just telling her about a week before and she nonchalantly plays it off. Your feelings are no longer being taken into consideration, and it’s every man for themselves.
2. Your secrets aren’t safe with me
Remember that super embarrassing thing you only told her about last week? Somehow everyone else knows about it also. Confrontation probably goes a little like this.. “hey, did you tell everyone about that thing that happened last week?” “Omg don’t be so insecure, I didn’t realize you didn’t want me to tell anyone. It’s okay it was funny.” Once again, you’re feelings are no longer being taken into consideration, she only wants the upper hand
3. No new friends
You’ll begin to become annoyed by these things so you’ll find new people to hangout with. She will become jealous and you’ll notice her being nicer and reaching out more. She’ll start to take interest in your new friends and because of intsinct you’ll invite her to tag along. But without hesitation her and those new friends will be off doing their own thing, without you. She no longer needs you, but you’re her stepping stone to popularity.
This is the process. The best thing for you to do is cut the soul ties. Cold turkey, this is toxic. This is worse than a toxic relationship. This is someone who knows your darkest secrets and weaknesses. They use them against you to get what they want and kick you to the curb when they’re done. This is no longer your best friend, this is your worst enemy.
Begin to focus on yourself. Delete them out of your life. Build a new, strong foundation of friendships. Confide in those people. Be open to change. Grow. Do not let that baggage tie you down. Never settle.