This is a totally true and not at all made up list of ways Michiganders talk about cold weather, winters, winter weather, snow and weather.
Perfect snowball weather.
The description of thick, heavy snow that quickly accumulates and buries you and all your perfect snowballs.
More like cold dish outside, eh?
Michiganders love their hot dish. Some of us like to put on airs and call it ‘casserole’ but c’mon. That's a hot dish. The “eh?” might make it seem like it's an actual question but it is in fact a statement.
It's nice out.
A lie we tell ourselves and each other when it is in face, not nice out. Maybe it evolved from “it's ice out” because that's closer to the truth.
That really dampens my socks.
A very polite way of indicating you are annoyed, or pointing out a very slushy sidewalk, or a hole in your boots.
Bitofanastyshock.
What we feel when we wake up in the morning to everything covered in a pristine layer of ice. Also what we experience when plugging in our space heaters.
Coney dog season.
Because it's a little chili. Get it?! Otherwise, it's always coney dog season.
It's a three lion night.
Much like a three dog night, it refers to how many lions you need to sleep with to stay warm. Alternatively, you can use tigers.
That's not snow!
How a Michigander identifies snow. New snow is not considered real snow until it's been around for at least a month, or can compact into a deadly snowball.
Look at it snow!
How a Michigander cheerfully and excitedly acknowledges a blizzard. Blizzard snow is advanced placement snow, and skips over the new snow probation period.
Irish breakfast.
A nip of whiskey added to your morning coffee to speed up the morning thawing process. Sometimes it's a nip of coffee in a whiskey.
That's some weather out there.
How Michiganders greet each other, make small talk, avoid confrontations and occasionally, comment about the weather.
Wearing a pair of wolverines.
When you break in a new pair of boots, they tend to chew up your feet and ankles like a boot version of a live wolverine, the most feared ankle biter in the state.
Have you checked the garage/back porch/deck?
The response to being unable to locate soda or beer. We just leave them outside to stay cold. This phrase is often followed up with “careful!” because sometimes they have turned into terrifying slush bombs.
It's cold out.
The next ice age has come to Michigan and we grudgingly will finally admit it, even if it isn't like the ice ages we had as kids.
