Oh, PS4, how I love thee. Let me count the ways…if only I could think of some, but your library is a little cluttered with titles that are either boring or broken.
Needless to say, I’ve found some good stuff that make me happy to have this console. Fallout 4 was an experience I’ll never forget and so far, I’m loving Hand of Fate and Costume Quest 2. Although, I think now is a good time for the PS4 to start taking advantage of college students like myself who have been starved of the good ole days – ahehem, PS1!
And for those of you Pewd-worshipping youngsters who don’t know what the hell I’m talking about…
Thousands of years ago, in the late 1990’s, a magical device brought some of the world’s greatest heroes that gave life to the word “adventure.” They would go on to bring us exciting stories of their quests along with lovable companions. Alas, they have since disappeared, or have tried to come back but their new developers were too lazy to give a crap anymore.
Anyways, here my Top 6 PS1 games that need a NEW game. Are you listening, distributors? A NEW game. Not a reboot, not a re-imagining, not a retake, not a redo, not a remaster, not a re-dump. A…NEW…GAME.
6. MediEvil
MediEvil was one of those games I could never get my hands on. I only recently managed to find a copy and it wasn’t even the original; it was the PSP remake! Nevertheless, I still had a lot of fun with this game. While it’s hack-n-slash gameplay isn’t too complicated, I do admire its Tim Burton-esque art style, self-deprecating humor, and Sir Daniel Fortesque’s seemingly infinite arsenal of weapons. How could this title fit onto the PS4? Keep the game’s mechanics and add a few more modern features. For starters, you can make the world of Gallowmere open-world and add some more areas to further expand upon it. Take advantage of the powerhouse, baby!
5. Spyro the Dragon
Gee, which Spyro the Dragon could I be talking about? The lovable trouble-maker voiced by Tom Kenny or the one that looks like the offspring of a pug and Smaug. Don’t take that as a compliment, ActiVision! You expect me to believe that ungodly piece of demon flesh is Spyro? Ha! HA! *deep breath* HHHAAAA!!!!!!! Case in point, Spyro the Dragon is in desperate need of a real game. His PS2 days were fine, but it was the first game that we will forever remember. It took me an entire month to 100% complete the first game and I didn’t even get to 100% it! (Missed 5 gems…five…little…gems) Bring that madness back, Sony! #ScrewSkylanders #SaveSpyro
4. PaRappa the Rapper
“I gotta believe!” says PaRappa. “I wanna believe!” I say. I’m sorry, PaRappa. You’d be so much higher on this list if only I had a little more faith. But, this is a list of games that NEED to be on the PS4. But, don’t get so down, dawg. You can still be hip with the kids if you tone down the difficulty a bit and allow a bit more of a legit freestyle mode of gameplay. Now, I gotta split, yo, ‘cause the rioters outside my door are ready to pop some caps in my @#$. Ready to go FPS, kid?
3. Bloody Roar
Remember that book you saw in grade school called “Animorphs?” Great, now toss that book away and get ready for the more kickass version of it. Bloody Roar was the place to go if you wanted to pound your friend’s face into the ground as a rabbit. Tekken will always be my baby, but it’s a nearly annualized game. Seriously, if the arcade version of Tekken 7 is coming out this Spring, then we can expect something by the end of the year. But, Bloody Roar will always have a special place in my cynical and pessimistic heart because of its concept and originality. Why will we never get another game?
THEY’RE OWNED BY KONAMI, THOSE SNOT-NOSED SON OF MONKEY’S UNCLE LITTLE--
2. Twisted Metal
I know I’m cheating on this one since Twisted Metal came out with a new game back in 2012, but let’s be honest with ourselves; that game…well, that game wasn’t exactly the best…
Therefore, we need a new game for the Twisted Metal franchise. One that is just like the other old ones; choose your psycho or sociopath judging on how kickass you find their car, choose the city you find the prettiest, and raise hell with other murderous drivers. It’s the ultimate road rage game. Hey, Jaffe, maybe those ideas you had for the Twisted Metal: Black sequel can finally come to fruition?
1. Crash Bandicoot
Don’t be so surprised. There are many people besides me who are wanting to take a crowbar to ActiVision’s knees until it finally gives in to the cult that is Crash Bandicoot fandom. How many times have these buttmunches cancelled a Crash game? Well, the only ones we know are 3, but for all we know it could have been 20. Knack was supposed to be a Crash game and look how well that turned out. “Here you go! It’s not Crash, but it’s the next best thing; a game like Crash!” Great! So, where’s the spoon, because if I can’t have the crowbar, I might as well have the most annoying and painful weapon in the world instead.
Looking back on this list, there seems to be a recurring theme here, but I can’t put my finger on it. Oh! I see it now!
Because everyone is so glued to a game that has FPS mechanics, a rebel who goes against society and/or wears punk attire, or is a sandbox RPG, none of these games can get made.
Thank goodness the Era of Successors is approaching...
