1. Getting a job.
The best way to spend summer is filling your days up with manual labor. WAHOO!
2. Eating anything and everything you want.
The only running you should be doing this summer is after the ice cream truck! Eat as much as you want of whatever you want this summer. Bonus: You get the buy a whole new wardrobe so you can find chic clothes to accommodate your rapidly growing waistline. You're probably immortal, so do whatever you want.
3. Using technology as much as possible.
Nothing says "Summer!" quite like sequestering yourself in a dark room with nothing but a screen to keep you company for days on end. Human interaction is so last season!
4. Refusing to wear any sunscreen.
You are a god!!! Forget the sunscreen, you don't need it. Just go outside on a sunny day and stand there for hours, completely naked and staring at the sun, so you get the perfect summer tan.
5. Blowing all of your money on stupid stuff you don't need.
Whether you have a job or are spending yet another summer jobless, forget the troubles of today's world by blowing through every single cent you and/or your parents have ever made. Goodbye college fund, hello 300 fidget spinners.
6. Doing something that's borderline insane, impossible or illegal.
You know how people say it's important to take risks and try something new? Well to have the best summer ever, you're gonna need to take this one step further. Do something completely insane. Put your life in danger! Scare
7. Finding a cute dog and stealing it.
Do you want a new best friend for the summer because all of your old high school pals left you in their dust? Sweet! Stop crying and instead, steal someone's dog. It's a cheap and effective way to make a new friend. Bonus: Since the dog doesn't have a conscience, it can never leave you!
8. Rather than making new friends, spending time with a freaky robot friend you ordered online.
If you want a summer romance but aren't getting any takers, your best bet may be to order a human-like robot today. For example, you could hit the beach or roast marshmallows with a robot version of the lady-killer himself, the Albert Einstein. There's nothing creepy about this at all. See:
9. Avoiding spending time with the people you love.
In order to have a truly joyous summer, it is imperative that you sit in a small, windowless room the whole time, and never leave it. It's a real hoot!
10. Refusing to let it come to an end.
We can all agree that summer is the best time of year. So the only way to have the best summer and life ever if to make it be summer every single day of your life. Live in constant denial of reality, it's the best thing you'll ever do.
Have a great summer, everyone!
