Forgetting the mascara that surely became smudged on my face, I looked down on the small black eyelash resting on my index finger. Thick, long, and a nuisance when wedged under my eyelid. I rubbed the thing in between my thumb and my index finger, briefly, before flicking it away.

But then I paused, just for a moment. Why did I not make a wish? I used to wish on everything, once. I wished on stars, throwing pennies into fountains, and my own spare eyelashes. But this time I didn't, I threw away the lash; threw away the wish. I began to think I haven't wished on anything for a very long time.

I used to wish for all sorts of things. Star light, star bright. I wished to have my first kiss. I wish I may. I wished to get accepted to the college I wanted. I wish I might. I wished to feel pretty. I wish to be loved. Have this wish I wish tonight.

When did I stop calling up to the universe, the void, the sky, and shamelessly asking for something? My wishes were desires that I wanted more than anything, especially in that moment. Could we pretend that airplanes in the night sky were shooting stars? I would throw them up and wait for them to float down, using my tiny spark of hope to turn my wishes into reality. I could really use a wish right now. A wish right now.

Over time I forgot the wishes I made. They became fleeting like the shooting stars I saw, or the eyelashes I expelled from my hands. I forgot about them so I wouldn't care if they didn't come true. It was better to forget than to hold on to hope.

I grew up. I let go of the little things. It wasn't as if I needed to believe my wishes could come true if I held them to something physical. I didn't need to believe in the tooth fairy or Santa Claus, but I did. But, like my wishing, my reality eventually shifted. I stopped hoping and simply became content with my reality.

I now live and accept a world where looking up for shooting stars just hurts my neck, that eyelashes are just to be prettily decorated with mascara instead of wished on. I don't hope like I used to. I don't wish for things. The wonder that I had with the small things is gone. And that's sad.

When did that wonder, that hope begin to fade?

When did I stop wishing on eyelashes?