I'm Too Young For Somebody Else To Be My Soulmate

I'm Too Young For Somebody Else To Be My Soulmate

You can go wherever you want from here.
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I believe in true love.

I believe that, someday, somebody will come into my life and I'll know that they're the person I want to share life's adventures with. There's a man out there for whom I will be willing to sacrifice time, ego and distance. There's somebody out there with whom I will spend decades of birthdays, Christmases and anniversaries. There will be somebody who makes me love them more than I love my independence.

Just not today.

Right now, I don't want someone who is "my whole world" or "my better half." I don't want a man who knows me better than I know myself. I don't want somebody I can't imagine my life without.

I want to feel whole on my own, be my own rock -- my own soul mate. I don't want to look back and see chances I didn't take because I was busy altering my future and my plans for somebody else. Because, right now, I'm not ready.

I have dreams and plans that only involve myself. There are things I want to do that I can't do if I have to stray from the path I'm on -- or the path I want to be on -- because somebody else is relying on me.

So I don't want to meet my soul mate today.

I am fiercely independent. My parents raised me to not rely on anybody or anything in the pursuit of what I want.

And, when I love, I love hard. There is no "halfway" with me. If I'm in a relationship, I'll never love somebody less than I love myself. And I've learned that, right now, I don't know how to love somebody else so deeply while also maintaining independence. I know several strong women who can, but I'm a hopeless romantic and wear my heart on my sleeve.

I've convinced myself that I can't imagine my life without a boy. I've made decisions based on their opinions, and I've left the same men for the same reasons--for trying to control who I am or who I become. I've also left men for trying to alter their plans to make me fit.

I've learned as I've grown up that, even when I do find my soul mate, I don't want to not be able to imagine my life without them. I want them to better me, foster my independent growth, love me for being able to function without them. Before I enter a serious relationship, I need to be complete while completely alone. I don't want a "better half." I want to be whole on my own. Then, as the inevitable happens and a heartbreak occurs along the way, it's not the end of the world. Then I have somebody to fall back on--and that person is me.

In your 20s, you're at a point in life where you can go wherever you want from here. There are no absolutes and, for the first time in your life, nobody's telling you who you have to be. You get to be selfish. At least for me, that's the most liberating sentence in the English language. I'm not ready to settle. I'm ready to wake up one morning and decide I need a change, and not run the idea past anybody before up and moving across the country. I'm ready to meet different people and learn the personalities that I resonate with most.

There are some people out there who do marry their high school or college sweethearts. I know so many people who have done so or plan to, and I think their relationships are healthy and mature. They've learned how to be independent and yet still grow together. There's absolutely nothing wrong with finding your person at 16 or 18 or 23. I just know enough about myself to know that's not who I am.

I want to imagine, try new things, go on adventures, fail, succeed. And I want to do it alone, so that way, I'll always be able to imagine my life without a boy, because by the time one comes into my life, I'll have already done it all alone.

I'm 20. I can't wait to find a boy whose eyes I can look into and say "I love you" and know it means "I love you for always." I can't wait to find the person that challenges me and helps me grow. I can't wait to have a family and to have somebody to share all of these great things with. Right now, I just haven't lived enough yet.

That day will come. Just not today.

Cover Image Credit: Her Campus

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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10 Of The Best On-Campus Date Ideas For Broke UK Couples

Some of the University of Kentucky's best spaces for you and your boo.

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Planning a good date on campus can be difficult when you and your S.O. are both low on funds. You want to do something fun, but everything on your mind is out of walking distance or costs more than the $3 you found in your jeans pocket. You don't have to stress any longer. There are plenty of sweet spots on campus, perfect for bringing a bit of fun and romance to your day. Here are my 10 favorite campus dates.

1. ​​Picnic outside of Willy T​​

picnic outside Willy T

Spring is fast approaching, and there is no better way to enjoy the warmer weather than a picnic in the quad outside the library. Grab a basket of your favorite foods and snacks, a couple of blankets, and your sweetheart, and get ready for a good time. My favorite picnic snacks are sandwiches, cheez-its, chocolate-covered strawberries, and probably everything else in my mini-fridge.

2. The Johnson Center

Johnson Center rock wall

Couples that sweat together, stay together! Maybe that's not a fact, but the gym on campus can be a great place to spend some time with your boo while being healthy. You can use machines side by side, spot each other, or (my favorite) rock climb together! After a date at the gym, all of the endorphins your body released will put both of you in the best mood ever. Feel free to take a post-date nap together too (if you're not too sweaty, of course).

3. Hammock, anywhere!

couple hammock

The campus is full of trees, which are perfect for hanging your hammock and cuddling up with your favorite person! A hammock is a perfect place for napping, reading, daydreaming, and even having deep conversations. If you or your S.O. are lucky enough to have a hammock, find some trees, grab a blanket, and get relaxed and romantic.

4. Your dorm

couple

Believe it or not, your dorm can be the perfect spot for a cute date. The options are endless! One of my favorite things to do is to build a sick fort, watch some Netflix, and cuddle. It may sound childish, but it's a great time, and the building process may even start a pillow fight. Other things you can do in your dorm are the classic binging Netflix, ordering in, having a spa night (face masks FTW!), or anything really! Don't be afraid to get childish, and just have fun.

5. Gatton Student Center

Gatton Student Center

There are always plenty of fun activities going on in the Gatton Student Center. Whether it be live music or "The Office" trivia, you're guaranteed to have fun! You and your favorite guy or gal can do anything, from trying stand-up comedy, to watching a movie or just chilling on the Social Staircase.

6. Bike around campus

bike around campus

UK's campus is so beautiful, especially in the spring, and the best way to take it all in is by a scenic bike ride with your honey. Find your favorite route and ride by the prettiest places on campus. While beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, one of the prettiest spots is in front of the main building. You can even combine some dates and add a stop for hammocking or a picnic during the bike ride. The possibilities are endless!

7. Starbucks

Starbucks

Every college student I know is constantly starved for coffee. Starbucks can be a great place for getting your caffeine fix, having a meaningful conversation, and even getting some studying in, all at the same time. Make silly faces at your S.O. with a whipped cream mustache and make a café latte toast to life. If you find yourself at the Starbucks in the student center, go UK merch shopping too! Maybe you can even get your date to buy your coffee (wouldn't that be nice).

8. Do something for charity

apo service fraternity

Charity work can be so much fun and it's good for the soul, too. Do something good for your community and make it into a date! There are plenty of things you can do, from decorating cakes for Sweet Blessings or giving blood at a UK blood drive. You can find volunteer work on your own, or you and your S.O. can join a service organization like Alpha Phi Omega (APO).

9. Stargaze

stargazing

If you live right outside of a big city, I'm sure you can understand how hard it is to see actual stars in the night sky. When I came to UK, I was so excited to see real constellations in the sky. As a hopeless romantic, my immediate thought was to plan a date under the beautiful Lexington sky. This is one of the easiest dates out there because all you need is a blanket, a nice spot outside, and someone to share some beautiful moments with.

10.  The Arboretum

arboretum

The Arboretum is a beautiful place, and it can create a very romantic setting for a date. You can relax in the grass and take in the beautiful surroundings or opt for a more high energy date with a walk, run, or bike ride. Either way, the Arboretum is full of gorgeous trees and flowers guaranteed to have you in awe (but the best part is all of the dogs that people bring, IMO).

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