Too Honest
Start writing a post

Too Honest

Sometimes I guess you have to be honest with yourself

Too Honest
Huff Post

I wish I was okay

I wish I didn't feel so stuck all the time

I wish I could get over my issues and just stop

I wish it were easier

I wish I didn't feel like a train wreck all the time

I wish I could tell someone how I feel and it be okay

I wish I could just be okay

I wish I didn't have to hide

I wish I was normal again

But, maybe I've never been normal

I think when God made me

He threw away the pattern

I try so hard to be strong all the time

Even while I'm writing this I'm feeling weak

Because I'm being too honest about myself

And I'm afraid

I'm petrified actually of being too honest with myself

If I'm too honest with myself

All my demons come out to play

And that's way scarier than I can handle

I hate that I feel like a mess most the time

No one knows that though

Because I do my very best to be okay

But, I guess sometimes you can't be strong

I beat myself up when I cry

Because that's weak

And I'm not weak

I'm tough

I'm strong

I can do anything

I'm Hope

But, the problem is

Behind this tough girl exterior

There's a really sad

Broken girl

Behind this tough girl exterior

There's a girl who cries more than she'd ever let on

There's a girl who's broken

There's a girl who tries to piece herself back together

Every single day

The messed up part is I'm fine sometimes

Sometimes I'm totally okay

It's the times when I let my head talk too much

Is when I'm not fine

I wish I could just tell someone this though

I wish someone would get it

But, I don't even get it

Because it's not me

It's not the Hope that everyone knows

It's not the Hope everyone loves

It's not me

It's a sad version of me

I pride myself in being tough

I pride myself in being strong

I try really hard to be, too

But, sometimes I just can't breathe

I don't like being an emotional wreck

I don't like being sad

I don't like hearing my own thoughts sometimes

So I drink to forget

I drink to shut my mind off

But, sometimes it's just too loud

Even in the silence

My head is constantly running

I'm terrified my head will never stop overthinking

I'm terrified I'll never be okay

I'm terrified that I'll always be a train wreck

I'm terrified someone will see it

But, I do the best I can

I smile

I laugh

I try to be okay

But, sometimes I just can't be

It's those moments when I feel myself breaking down

That I get scared

It's those moments when I start to cry that I get scared

Because someone will see me being weak

But, they tell me it's okay

Maybe it will be okay one day

Maybe I'll be fine again

Maybe I'll get it together


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Allison Fishman

1. Why is Wilson Hall so complicated to navigate? Even as a senior, I still get lost in Wilson. As a freshman, I was warned about the unnecessary complexity of the building, was laughed at by upperclassman for my confused looks on the first day of school and walked and rewalked the whole hall before finding my classroom. #annoying.

Keep Reading... Show less

Blair Waldorf For governor of new york

What life would be like if the people were led by Queen B.

Blair Waldorf For governor of new york

Cynthia Nixon, a.k.a Miranda from Sex and the City, is running for governor of New York. I think that this would be the best decision that has been made in a while solely based off of the fact that almost no one knows New York like the cast of Sex and the City. This got me thinking about who else would be a good candidate to take over the city of dreams. Then I realized that Blair Waldorf, if she were a real person, would be my number one choice for governor. Here are five reasons why Queen B would be an excellent ruler.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

Why Littles Rock

Who doesn't want to be an awesome big?


We see ourselves getting further into the semester.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

10 Things To NEVER Do In College, EVER

Just a little advice for the start of a new semester.

Wikimedia Commons

College — a new place with new people and a new you! You're ready to get a fresh start on a new campus; before you start, however, there are some social rules that you should know. These are suggestions that you are not required to follow, but they are highly recommended. Here are ten things you probably should not do from now on.

Keep Reading... Show less

America's biggest party schools

These are known for their lively party scenes

America's biggest party schools
Determining which schools are the biggest party schools is often subjective, but a some statistical factors you could use to make a judgement include (1) consumption, (2) drug usage, (3) strong greek life presence, (4) campus police records etc.

When a student at Auburn was recently asked, she explained: "These schools usually have, like, a super vibrant social scene, lots of Greek life (like my amazing sorority, duh!), and tons of exciting events happening all the time. I mean, we're talking about tailgates, themed parties, mixers with fraternities, and just, like, so much fun. But don't get me wrong, we still, like, study and go to class and all that. It's just that at a party school, the social life and having a good time are, like, major priorities for students."

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments