To Whom it may Concern,

My name is Ryan James Cox, is that your name? Unless you are one of the 508 other Ryan Coxs in the USA, or part of the probably 7 Ryan James Coxs in the world, then no. No, it is not. That means you are not me. You are you and I am me. You face the world as you, and I face the world as me. You make friends and host relationships as you do, and I have friends and host relationships how I do. You do you and I do me. All this considered, I am the only individual on this planet that understands why I do what I do, what types of relationships I have with whoever and what is going on in MY life. So, what does this mean for you? Let me break it down.

Everyone makes decisions based on their life experiences, education, morals, and values they have. Sometimes, we cannot put into words why we did something we did. You should be able to relate. You are human, you do this too. With that being said, please, don’t question why I do things the way I do. Judge my decisions, go ahead, that's fine. In fact, please do! That way I can learn to be better in the future, however, don’t question me. I have my reasons, and I have my methods so please, leave it be. I already worry about the outcomes of my decisions, the ramifications, and the people affected. I do not need you dissecting the "why" behind it. You aren’t helping anyone by doing that. I may not always make the best decisions, and there are a lot of times I should have followed my head, not my heart, but hindsight is always 20/20. With all this in mind, you can also be better with your speculation.

Humans love to foster social relationships with other humans. It's in our brain chemistry, we love to have friendly alliances, romantic connections, business relations, you name it. However, unless you are me, you will never understand how I connect with another individual. On the surface, it may seem like we are just friends, but behind closed doors, I may loathe that person or quite the opposite, I may have strong positive feelings for them. You don’t know my history with them, the feelings, the memories - you don’t know. So just because I am friendly with a girl, does not mean I have a thing with her. Just because I barely talk to someone while you’re watching, doesn’t mean I don’t think about them day and night. Your brain isn’t my brain, thus you are missing that crucial last piece of the puzzle. So you can stop with the “You two must have a thing” At every snap I take with a girl, or the “Well what do you know about them?” every time I try to give you insight on someone I know much better than you would ever understand. It's getting really old. Really, really fast.

Lastly, it’s my life! Not your life, MY life! I am the only one that sees what goes on in my life and knows how I feel and how I perceive things from the time I wake up til the time I finally go to sleep. Yes, you may get a window into my life through social media, or text, or doing something with me, but that is only a fraction of the mess I call a life! There is no possible way that you could understand the connection between the things I do, the people I form bonds with and the decisions I make, because there is no way you could have that perspective. You weren’t there when I was 6 and fell in my driveway. You weren’t there when I was 13, in the back of the movie theater, and had my first kiss. You weren’t there when Jason died. You haven’t had the string of events, placed ever so precisely and carefully that I call my life. You have your life, let me have mine.

I realize that there is no way for you or anyone to ever fully understand what I do and why I do it. I realize that I will never fully understand what you do and why you do it. But if you can realize that, well that’d be a pretty nice first step into a pretty nice future. You are great, you really are, but I am tired of being speculated, judged and questioned. Speaking frankly, I don’t really care about the speculation, I will do what I do no matter what, however, it takes a toll after awhile. It's like a roof and snow. The snow always slides off, but the roof still wears. So please, instead of thinking we have a thing or saying my “Throw it at the wall and see if it sticks” lifestyle is a piece of shit, just put it all in perspective.