To the toxic best friend I left behind,
There comes a point in everyone’s life where they realize that maybe there is something holding them back. Maybe it is something, maybe it is someone, maybe it is them. It is for that person to figure out for themselves. For me, it just happened to be you. You were that thing that was holding me back. When I took a step back to realize what was it in my life, you were the common denominator.
When we first met we were instantly friends, and then over the years we grew to be the best of friends. There was hardly ever a time when we weren’t together, although, there was always something off about our friendship. I always felt inferior when you were around. You were always putting me down whether you meant to or not, I'm not sure. That isn’t what best friends are for. Best friends are supposed to pick each other up when they are down; they are supposed to make each other feel like the best when they feel at their worst. But it always felt like you wanted to kick me when I was down. It was like I was six feet underground and you just wanted to keep digging the hole deeper for me. I don’t know if it made you feel better or if that is just the type of person you were so you didn’t even realize you were doing it. Over the years I put up with it though because you were my best friend and that is what friends do, they stick together.
I just want to make it clear, it wasn’t all bad, and we made some of the best memories. There were many great memories that you were a part of and I can never thank you enough for coming into my life to share them with me. There were numerous occasions when you had my back when it felt like nobody else did, and for that I am forever grateful. Although, when you think of who your best friend is, you shouldn’t have to try to think and make sure that there were more good times than bad times. It was almost like we stuck together because of mutual friends or because we had grown so close so it would have been awkward if we just stopped talking or hanging out. When the bad finally outweighs the good, you know it is time to move on.
Some days go by and I wonder what it would be like if you were still my best friend. We used to sit and talk and laugh for hours and hours. Then things got worse and worse between us. It was almost like you were trying to make things a competition, even when it was one sided and I wanted nothing to do with it. I would try to tell you things that were happening in my life and it seemed as though you weren’t listening and had something better to do with your time, which is not what best friends do. You always made it seem like everything was my fault even though now, looking back, I realize I had done nothing wrong. You were always trying to make yourself feel better by putting others down. I can’t have a best friend who is like that; it is not healthy for anyone involved.
With this all being said, I am done being put down and degraded by someone who doesn’t want to even listen to me, but expects the title of being my best friend. I am so much happier without you in my life. I have realized I am worth so much more than you made me think I was. So thank you for being so toxic so that I could come out on top in the end. Now I realize what a real friend is, and I see that I have many more than you ever let me realize I had. I wish you good luck in all of life’s adventures, but most of all I wish you luck in realizing what you do to people, because the sooner you realize it, the sooner you will be a better person.
Much love and well wishes,
Your Ex-Best Friend