I never asked for much. All I wished for was for you to want me like I wanted you. I did not want you to throw your family, work, or friends away and make me your number one priority. You used that as your biggest excuse when you would forget about our plans and I would get frustrated with you. "I should tell my friends that I cannot go out anymore, since you want me to revolve my life around you," you would exclaim. I did not want that. I wanted you to go out with your buddies, actually, I encouraged it, but when you forgot about our plans and hung out with your friends, it hurt. You saw it as no big deal, but I saw it as you could not make a commitment. Perhaps I was pushing you too far, or, that is what I believed. I blamed myself for those actions, but now I realize that it was not me -- it had been you all along.

If you wanted me, you would not have spoken to me the way you did. Calling me names when I was upset with you or making jokes that were clearly passive aggressive. You would not have belittled me in front of peers, not even if you were kidding. Whenever you spoke I had to prepare myself for the worst, because that was often the path you chose to take. I could not let my guard down, for fear of if I did, it would end up a huge mistake. There were times in which I had to remind you that I was not one of your best friends, as you would make comments about how hot or sexy a passerby was. You had wandering eyes, and you did not attempt to hide them. You would assure me to not worry, but the tone in your voice said otherwise. The negativity that you spoke toward me weighed me down, even though you seemed to think it left me wanting more. You said everything that I wanted to hear, but now I see that it was all worth nothing.

You did not want me. You wanted the comfort of someone there. You wanted the feeling of someone bending over backwards for you. You wanted the love without the lover. Most of what I did was with you in mind. I based decisions on whether you would approve of them, and that was no way to live. I was brainwashed with the thought of this mythical love you had for me. I let things go that I should not have. I stood up for you against my family and friends. I made it seem as though you were the good guy, but you were not. You were selfish, manipulative and the villain in our fairy tale. Your mind games had me in chains, and I was okay with it. I was too blind to see all the lies that were told. You gave me the illusion that we were meant to be, but all I needed was one little push to see right through it. The day I saw that you did not want me was a day I will never forget. At that time, I wished that it would all blow over and we would come out on top, but now I am thankful. A life with someone who does not want you is miserable, and it took me months to see that. It does not take anything to not want somebody, but it takes a lot to understand that you are not wanted. So, to the person who did not want me, that is okay, because when I find that person who does, you'll be nothing but a memory.