To the people who only see someone’s failures, you’ll regret it.
It takes a strong person to forgive and see the good in someone, but you’ll regret it if you don’t.
“To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing you but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence. The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.” – unknown
Why do some people seem to never forgive? Why do some people seem to never give second chances? Why do some people seem to never see the good in others and seem to only remember your shortcomings and failures?
Throughout these past two decades of my life, I’ve learned a lot about growing up. I share a nice relationship with God and one thing He has taught me is to forgive. It was hard to me to understand this when I was younger. It wasn’t until I went through college that I realized people make mistakes and learn from them. People grow and develop, but typically stand with the values they have grown up with. But failing is always a part of the experience.
You don’t know what success is if you have never failed, you don’t know what happiness is until you’ve been sad, and you don’t know what love feels like until you’ve lost a loved one or have experienced heartbreak.
It is hard to accept the fact of forgiveness when you have been hurt and it’s hard to be strong when you feel weak. It’s not easy and I’m not telling you it is. I've dealt with cruel individuals who seem to have nothing better to do than hate on you and try to ruin your life. But you know what, that's okay. Because in this short life of ours, you have to forgive. Even if it kills you. Forgive others because you deserve peace, not because they deserve forgiveness. Your friends or family may tell you otherwise, but only you know yourself the best. What will make you happy? Give second chances because you never know what positive outcome could happen if you did. And rather than focusing on the negative in others, focus on the positives.
People don’t necessarily change, so if they make a mistake, it happens. No one is perfect in this world. It is hard to be accepted or to not be judged by what you do and people are just simply trying to pass through life, being a good person and making others happy. The hard truth is that people will still judge you not matter what you do whether it’s good or bad. So just do what you think is right. Be a good person. Forgive and forget and always move forward. Find the good in things because someone out there has it worse than you.
The journey of love and life isn’t perfect. You don’t always meet your soulmate or lifelong friends in high school and college. And if you do, that is okay, too.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11).
It’s true. Everything happens for a reason and there is always a plan, maybe your time isn’t now, but it will come. If it is meant to be it will be. These words have kept me strong through tough times but now I realize my purpose and value in this world.
People in this world will hold grudges, not forgive, or not give you a second chance to prove your worth. I am not saying they are bad people. It’s fine if they don’t, but their quality of life will reflect that. By not seeing the good over the bad, they will have a negative outlook on that person, relationships, and the world around them. They will struggle in growing and in future relationships because they never know what could have been if they had an open mind. You don't know what the other person is going through and you may never know if you don't try.
Those people who don’t forgive you or don’t give you a chance are people that aren’t worth your time. They have too much pride. They don’t see your value or the good in you. You are trying and trying to win their approval, but sometimes they sadly won't see your effort. They only see the failure and negativity and can’t get over that. And that’s not your fault. But eventually, they will regret that sooner or later. That’s the way life goes. By the time they feel regret, it is usually too late. And those people who don’t forgive you, just wish the best for them because they will realize the opportunity they missed. Just because you wish nothing but the best for them, doesn’t mean you weren’t the best for them, it means they weren’t the best for you.
Those people who constantly have this certain negative perspective about who you are as a person aren’t worth your time. If they don’t see all the good you have done, you deserve better. If they question your integrity, you deserve better. You know your worth and you know others will appreciate your worth. Maybe the time that happens just isn’t now.
I used to be a person who would hate forgiving people or apologizing. But why? Was it a pride thing? Absolutely. I know it may hurt to forgive someone who hurt you, but as a growing individual, you will feel better when you do. You will have closure, and you may have learned things you may never have if you didn’t forgive them. You never know what people are going through or their motive behind what they did. You never know without being open minded and understanding. Something that is hard to do. New experiences and a new start. I’ve been in both shoes and know what it’s like on each end. It takes a strong person to admit wrongdoings and a stronger person to accept an apology.
By seeing the good in others over their shortcomings doesn’t mean you should be taken advantage of. It doesn’t mean you are now weak or vulnerable. It actually makes you and your shield stronger. By not forgiving, you are weak. Second chances and forgiveness deal with growing together and helping each other become better and stronger people in this world. Your emotions and heart are similar to the action of locking a door to your house. You lock your door to protect the people inside, not necessarily to keep the people out. Be open minded, but know your worth. By forgiving and admitting failure, you and your relationship will get stronger. It’s not perfect, but this is how it can get close to being perfect. Without the lows, you don’t have the highs.
I was a person who loved revenge or holding grudges if someone hurt me. And now, it is a waste of my time. I care what people think of me, but I care about what I think of myself more. I know what failure feels like, I know what regret feels like, I know what losing a loved one feels like, I know what heartbreak feels like, and I know what screwing up feels like and I’m glad. I look in the mirror and am proud of the person I see. I’m proud I have had those experiences and have made mistakes. Without these experiences, I never would have experienced love, support, growth, happiness, or success. I would have never known what maturity is and what my purpose was in this life. I now know my worth and value and what the best is for me.
Thank you to the people who forgave me and who continue to see my worth over my failures. I am glad I forgave and have been forgiven because those chances and experiences have made me who I am today and I would not change it for the world.
So to the people who don’t see the good in others over their failures and shortcomings, you should because you’ll regret it in the end.
As Frank Sinatra once said, “the best is yet to come” and damn right it is.