If You're A People-Pleaser, Remember This
Start writing a post
Social Life

If You're A People-Pleaser, Remember This

It is OK to put yourself first! Helping others should not cause you, or your mental health, to suffer.

If You're A People-Pleaser, Remember This
Hannah Ruth Pond

Dear People Pleaser,

Saying yes to everything may benefit others; however, at some point, it will get tiring.

I know that you mean well.

Often times we develop these people pleasing habits out of a longing for acceptance. I completely understand: acceptance is something we all crave. Being nice and never saying "no" to favors seems like a surefire way to gain the friendships and trust you crave because people will like having you around. The issue with this is that you don't exactly know when people keeping you around for company changes to people keeping you around for convenience. Are said friends in your company because you are being your authentic self, or are they benefiting from your need to please them? People notice when you are fighting for their attention and affirmation and have the ability to capitalize on it for selfish motives.

If you can't say "no" are you truly being your authentic self? You can say that being nice and constantly looking out for people is "just who you are," but what happens when you begin missing out on things you enjoy and putting up a façade of what you want to do? When you are always seen smiling and excited it can be hard to be vulnerable with others; however, it is important to stand your ground whether it be you simply being too tired to do a favor or even putting in input on where to get dinner that night. Your opinions are valid! You shouldn't have to get sushi for dinner if you don't like it because you wanted everyone else to get what they wanted. There are ways to compromise and make decisions that can benefit most everyone if you are willing to advocate for yourself. True friends will be willing to work with you and what you want or need. True friends will also realize that you are your own person and you have your own needs.

Part of true self-care is knowing your limits and what you need. This means saying "no" when you know you should. If you're already busy with lots of school work, it is probably the best for you to not take on another responsibility. Taking on something else would take away from your own success and the time you would otherwise devote to your own welfare. A huge part of learning how to say "no" is learning your limits. Start noticing when you feel overwhelmed or stressed out so that you can recognize when you need to take time for yourself.

Part of loving yourself is knowing your limits and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Asking for a break or help is completely normal and OK to do. You don't even have to be stressed out to take time for yourself! You can say "no" to anything that you don't want to or don't feel comfortable doing. That is the beauty of having free will.

So please remember, that it is OK to put your own needs before others. True friends will understand your need to rest or have time to yourself I promise. Be yourself and stand by your choices, that is how you maintain your integrity and obtain true friendships.

Don't forget to advocate for yourself.


An Ex People-Pleaser

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me

This one's for you, Spock.

6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me
Liz Abere

Owning a pet can get difficult and expensive. Sometimes, their vet bills cost hundreds of dollars just for one visit. On top of that, pets also need food, a wee wee pad for a dog, a litter box with litter for a cat, toys, and treats. Besides having to spend hundreds of dollars on them, they provide a great companion and are almost always there when you need to talk to someone. For the past six years, I have been the proud owner of my purebred Bengal cat named Spock. Although he's only seven years and four months old, he's taught me so much. Here's a few of the things that he has taught me.

Keep Reading...Show less

Kinder Self - Eyes

You're Your Own Best Friend

Kinder Self - Eyes

It's fun to see all of the selfies on social media, they are everywhere. I see pictures with pouty lips, duck lips and pucker lips. I see smokey eyes, huge fake lashes and nicely done nose jobs, boob jobs and butt lifts. Women working out in spandex, tiny tops and flip flops. I see tight abs and firm butts, manicured nails and toes, up dos and flowing hair. "Wow", I think to myself," I could apply tons of make-up, spend an hour on my hair, pose all day and not look like that. Maybe I need a longer stick!"

Keep Reading...Show less

Rap Songs With A Deeper Meaning

Rap is more than the F-bomb and a beat. Read what artists like Fetty, Schoolboy Q, Drake, and 2Pac can teach you.

Rap artist delivers performance on stage
Photo by Chase Fade on Unsplash

On the surface, rap songs may carry a surface perception of negativity. However, exploring their lyrics reveals profound hidden depth.Despite occasional profanity, it's crucial to look beyond it. Rap transcends mere wordplay; these 25 song lyrics impart valuable life lessons, offering insights that extend beyond the conventional perception of rap music.

Keep Reading...Show less

21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

Maybe don't try them all in one day...

21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

My 21st birthday is finally almost here. In honor of finally turning 21, I thought I'd share 21 fun drinks since it's finally legal for me to drink them.

Some of these drinks are basic, but some of them are a little more interesting. I thought they all looked pretty good and worth trying, so choose your favorites to enjoy at your big birthday bash!

Keep Reading...Show less

Ancient Roman Kings: 7 Leaders of Early Rome

The names and dates of the reigns of the first four kings, as well as the alternation of Sabin and Latin names, are more legendary than historical. The last three kings, of Etruscan origin, have an existence which seems less uncertain.

inside ancient roman building
Photo by Chad Greiter on Unsplash

It is evident that all this is only a legend although archeology shows us little by little that these kings if they did not exist as the ancient history, describes them, have at least in the very Outlines were real as chief of a shepherd’s tribe. The period when kings ruled Rome could estimate at 245 years.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments