If You're A People-Pleaser, Remember This
Start writing a post
Social Life

If You're A People-Pleaser, Remember This

It is OK to put yourself first! Helping others should not cause you, or your mental health, to suffer.

213
If You're A People-Pleaser, Remember This
Hannah Ruth Pond

Dear People Pleaser,

Saying yes to everything may benefit others; however, at some point, it will get tiring.

I know that you mean well.

Often times we develop these people pleasing habits out of a longing for acceptance. I completely understand: acceptance is something we all crave. Being nice and never saying "no" to favors seems like a surefire way to gain the friendships and trust you crave because people will like having you around. The issue with this is that you don't exactly know when people keeping you around for company changes to people keeping you around for convenience. Are said friends in your company because you are being your authentic self, or are they benefiting from your need to please them? People notice when you are fighting for their attention and affirmation and have the ability to capitalize on it for selfish motives.

If you can't say "no" are you truly being your authentic self? You can say that being nice and constantly looking out for people is "just who you are," but what happens when you begin missing out on things you enjoy and putting up a façade of what you want to do? When you are always seen smiling and excited it can be hard to be vulnerable with others; however, it is important to stand your ground whether it be you simply being too tired to do a favor or even putting in input on where to get dinner that night. Your opinions are valid! You shouldn't have to get sushi for dinner if you don't like it because you wanted everyone else to get what they wanted. There are ways to compromise and make decisions that can benefit most everyone if you are willing to advocate for yourself. True friends will be willing to work with you and what you want or need. True friends will also realize that you are your own person and you have your own needs.

Part of true self-care is knowing your limits and what you need. This means saying "no" when you know you should. If you're already busy with lots of school work, it is probably the best for you to not take on another responsibility. Taking on something else would take away from your own success and the time you would otherwise devote to your own welfare. A huge part of learning how to say "no" is learning your limits. Start noticing when you feel overwhelmed or stressed out so that you can recognize when you need to take time for yourself.

Part of loving yourself is knowing your limits and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Asking for a break or help is completely normal and OK to do. You don't even have to be stressed out to take time for yourself! You can say "no" to anything that you don't want to or don't feel comfortable doing. That is the beauty of having free will.

So please remember, that it is OK to put your own needs before others. True friends will understand your need to rest or have time to yourself I promise. Be yourself and stand by your choices, that is how you maintain your integrity and obtain true friendships.

Don't forget to advocate for yourself.

Sincerely,

An Ex People-Pleaser

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

9 Things Tall People Are Tired Of Hearing

Yep. The weather is fine up here... I've totally never heard that before.

1322
pexels

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE being tall. Sometimes I even wish I was taller. One of the downsides of being tall however, is having to put up with ridiculous questions and statements. I can assure that all tall people are tired of being asked what the weather is like "up here", but here are a few other things we don't want to hear anymore.

Keep Reading... Show less

We truly love it here in the Badger State. Here are a few things Wisconsinites can relate to.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Five Types Of People In Fall

From yummy pumpkin spice lattes to scary movies, fall has it all and then some.

3304
Destination Logan County Illinois

Oh fall, the most marvelous time of year...right? Every approaches fall differently, some pumpkin spice-tastically and some not so enthusiastically. We can't all be Autumn lovers, so here are five types of people in fall. Grab a cup of hot coca, sit back, and enjoy.

Keep Reading... Show less
https://unsplash.com/photos/XdbUsFkAwqA

If you're like me, by this time of year you're over summer. The beach, the sunshine, and the heat were all great, but now we're itching for blanket scarves, football, and pumpkin spice EVERYTHING! As the new season approaches, your relationship can benefit from some old traditional dates and some new fresh ideas! Here are a couple great date ideas for you and your boo to try out this fall.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

Social Media Or Soul Media

To the generation that cares way too much about affirmation.

5479
Emma Smith
  • This semester I am taking the ever so famous class, Writing 101. Walking into it, I had heard the horror stories about each major assignment. I have to admit, it’s not a class that I am fond of. But, major assignment #2 got me thinking, we had to create a research question based off of a topic that we are interested in.

Two weeks prior, I watched a very interesting documentary on Netflix. Miss Representation was recommended to me by one of my friends and I have to say the topic is absolutely mind blowing. Social Media and Female Body Image. How Social Media makes girls see this unnatural perfection of ‘beauty’ that really doesn’t exist. But female body image isn’t the only thing affected by social media.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments