I bet that you can think of one person in your life who is struggling with something. It could even be you. Whether it is a friend, a sibling, or a parent, it seems like you have a front row seat to their hardships. They could be struggling with school, work, addiction, or self-worth. The list of trials seems endless and sometimes life just feels hopeless. What do we say to ourselves or our loved ones in these times?
Bear with me as I say, that life does get better.
Julian Baker from One Tree Hill said it best. “Happiness is a mood. It’s a condition, it’s not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry- it’s not permanent. It comes and goes and that’s okay.”
So often, we think that if we had a nice house, a shiny car, and a high-paying job, then we would happy. Even if we achieve all of these things, our happiness isn’t guaranteed. Realize that your issues follow you wherever you go and that is okay. Struggles aren’t meant to be escaped from and they don’t have to define us. They have a way of pushing us to our limits, and in the midst being tested, it sucks. There is no denying that. Nonetheless, take a second to reflect on an obstacle that you’ve overcome. What did you learn from it? You probably realized that you were stronger than you thought you were. Hurdles are funny, in that they mold us in unexpected ways.
If you’re anything like me, I don’t want anyone to know when I am having a hard time. This stems from the fear that people will view me differently, and more specifically as weak. As a result, people (myself included) will internalize all of their emotions and the weight of the world is suddenly placed on their shoulders. I have news for you, though. Your friends and your family are in your life for a reason. They are there to love you through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Do not shut them out. Let them in and they will meet you where you are at. They will appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. You are not a burden to them.
Do not compare what you are going through to anyone else. The truth is, there is always going to be someone that us worse off. However, that shouldn’t take away from how hard your own battles are. It is perfectly fine to feel the way that you do. One of my good friends has always told me to “own it”, and I am telling you to do the same. Own the tears. Own the pain. Own the confusion. Own the mess.
Look ahead to brighter days. They are coming.
To the people in my life that are struggling, remember that I love you. I am for you. I will be there for you in whatever way you need. You are never too much and always enough. Let me repay the favor and be there for you as you have been there for me.
