There's always a happy one. Oh, you know who I'm talking about. The girl who all your friends go to for emotional support, as she seems to be an endless supply of joy; the guy you want hang out with when you're down because it appears he can hold your sorrow for you, at least for a minute, so you can remember to enjoy life again. These are special people who seem to have the capacity to absorb pain and give it back as encouragement and joy. But here's some hard news:
That ability to make pain vanish into thin air? Not real.
I am one of those happy people and I'm learning that I, in fact, am not gifted with extra joy emotions and a superhuman ability to make sadness melt away. Although, for the majority of my life, I've convinced myself I had those gifts. I loved that people could come to me knowing I always had a smile and positive words, no matter what was going on in my life. And for a while, I thought that nothing painful ever was going on in my life, that since everyone claimed I was the "happy one," then that's what I must always be. Happy ones have only room for happiness, right?
Apparently not. What I learned to do, like many people, was to shroud hard moments in so much optimism and (at times) delusion that they wouldn't seem quite so hard. I called that "dealing with it," when in actuality, I was just burying those feelings until I thought they went away. They don't and at some point in your life, when enough grief comes your way, all of those painful feelings will come up. And you know what?
That's OK. It is 110 percent OK that you're not happy. In fact, it's good! Pain is a part of life, it's unavoidable no matter how hard you try and believe me I tried. Pain and sadness, when dealt with appropriately, always elicit growth and healing.
For a long time I was under the illusion that Christians should be happy all the time because God is always good and that should be enough. And that is true, God is always good and always on His throne no matter how I am feeling and that is enough for my immaterial soul. But that does not change the fact that we live in a very broken world and are very broken people who experience very broken situations. And God is a good God and he will indeed work all situations into good for those who love him and are called according to his purposes, but His definition of good is drastically different than our definition of good. Like I said, brokenness leads to God's healing and growth of us. I can already see that to be true in my own life.
It is hard to be sad. It's hard to walk head-first into grief and pain when it's so much easier to just put those feelings in a mental box and bury them. It's hard to surrender your future and put your trust in God to heal your heart and guide your next steps. I understand. It's hard. But He is a good, good God with good, good plans. And He is so loving. He is close to the brokenhearted and understands deep sorrow.
So, dear happy one, your joy is so appreciated. Your enthusiasm is indeed rare. But please, oh please, know that you are not defined by your happiness, and that letting yourself be sad and angry and hurt is healthy and good. There is a loving God who wants to grow you and heal you. Lean into your grief: He will go before you, behind you, and beside you the whole way through.
