The guys that come crawling back.

You're probably thinking of one guy in particular after reading that sentence, am I right?

The guy that falls in love with you, sweeps you off your feet, loves your mom, and then, out of nowhere, takes your heart and shatters it into a million pieces because of some girl that will drink Four Loko and chew tobacco with him. Ew, right? I know.

We will call him Bob.

So then, after all of this, all you're left with is Bob's old soccer sweatshirt and a heart that couldn't be put back together even if Zac Efron tried to put it back together himself.

But, after a week of subtweets and vent sessions over Ben and Jerry's American Dream with your best friend, your heart slowly starts to mend.

The Snapchats of Bob and the new redneck girl piss you off less, and you really don't give two craps about Bob and his antics anymore.

You start to become whole again and realize that Bob wasn't even worth your time or the disgusting amount of calories from all the ice cream you ate getting over him, because there are plenty of other fish in the sea who would love to explore the ocean with you. Because after all, you aren't a minnow. You are a freakin' goldfish.

You finally find your fish, and you're happy again. This could be the fish that holds your fin for the rest of your life. You're happy and excited and so is everyone else!

Except Bob. Damn it, Bob.

Bob, you're a piece of crap, just like every other guy who tried to crawl back once they see that the girl is happy without you.

First of all, you're the one that ended it for some other girl, who was clearly not worth it, if you have to try to come hang out with me again.

Second of all, if you think that your cute little Snapchats asking when “New bae will go away” are going to make a difference, you're so wrong.

Third of all, don't lie to the next girl. Girls find out everything. They really do.

Also, your shirtless Snapchats of your six pack after your 'gym sesh' aren't doing anything for me except reassuring me that you're a douchebag. No one cares that you lift expect that drunk girl at the bar who isn't going to call you back.

My advice for you, and all the ones that crawl back right as the girl finds someone she is actually happy with, is to think before you dump or cheat on her, because she will find someone better than you. You are not the only one on the planet who will like your taste in music and appreciate flowers on Valentine's Day.

Please don't crawl back, because we don't care and you're just making a fool out of yourself.

P.S. Your sweatshirt was a great addition to my bonfire this fall.