“You overthink things," “You worry too much," “You shouldn’t care as much." These are some of the phrases that I get told quite often. Yes, I worry too much, I overanalyze everything, and I spend way too much time thinking about things that do not even concern me. I worry about people who I have never met, I spend time thinking about the past and things that I could have changed, and I stress about my future, and what is yet to come. I still think about friendships that I have lost, games that I could have done better in, and sins that I have committed. I forget sometimes that I have a forgiving and loving God and I allow past sins that I have prayed for to continue to weigh me down. I have learned, and am still learning that somethings are not in my control, and it is best for me to let go and let God. So, for anyone else who worries too much, here is some advice given to me about some of the main topics that I worry about in my life.
I have a heavy conscious. I will worry about if I accidentally looked at someone the wrong way, or if said the wrong thing in a conversation. I look back and think about the things I could change, and how my life would be differently today if I had gone in a different direction. Growing up, Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken” was etched into my mind. This poem has become more relevant than ever. What would my life had been like if I had decided to choose differently in certain decisions? The fact of the matter is, you are where you are because this is where God needs and wants you to be. God would never put you through anything that you could not handle. You have survived every one of your worse days. Just because you have made a mistake, or have done something that you wish you could take back, it does not make you a bad person. Your character, your morals, and how you treat others are some of the qualities that define how good of a person you are. Do not allow something that you did two years ago to affect how you view yourself today. There is nothing you can do about the past, so do not allow it to affect your present, and future.
I will overanalyze everything. From a simple conversation with another person, to the way I walk down the hall. Do I look funny, did I say something stupid? My appearance to others is something that I tend to think a lot about. Am I going to be made fun of because I do not have make-up on, or does my hair look a mess? A little secret that I have come to learn, is that no one is honestly going to care how you look. The next day no one is going to remember how your hair looked, or if you wore make-up or not. We are all very busy people, and at this point in our lives we all understand how hectic each other’s lives are. So, if you have a late night, do not worry about sleeping in and not having time to put make up on in the morning. If you throw your hair up in a bun and leave your room, no one is going to think any differently of you if you were to have spent an extra 20 minutes straightening your hair. And if you think you need to get cute to impress a guy, he is going to have to like you with or without make-up, and just because you “dress to impress” every day, it is not going to automatically make him want to be with you. Focus on what makes you comfortable and happy. Whether that be curling your hair every day and wearing a cute outfit, or throwing your hair in a ponytail and wearing athletic clothes. Do not allow other people’s opinions, and your own negative thoughts keep you from doing what you want in life.
The future can be scary. Where am I going to go to grad school? Am I going to grad school? Will I ever get married? Will I be 40 and having my first kid? These are some of the things that I worry about every day. You see people your age who already have houses, and getting real jobs. They are getting married, and starting to have kids. And you begin to wonder, when does this all begin for you? When am I going to find my future husband? What grad school do I need to apply for? Where am I going to live when I “grow up”? God will place you on the right path, at the right time, when you are ready. The harder you try to make your own path, and put everything on yourself, the longer, and harder everything will seem. Do not worry about the things that are not in your control. Focus on bettering yourself now, in order to have a better future. Bettering your current self, will allow you to have a less stressed future. The work you put in now, while you are young, will allow you to enjoy your life more when you are older.
In conclusion: focus on what makes you happy, do not let other people’s opinions bring you down, and live your life to the fullest. We are not promised tomorrow, so why not live every day as if it were your last, and have no regrets.