It is now the fourth week into my second semester of junior year in college and I am slowly losing myself.
As I sit in my best friend's apartment, I realize I am no longer happy. I no longer have the motivation I did when I started college. Why though?
I have such an amazing support system here. I have my sorority sisters, my family, my absolute best friends and the entire faculty and staff on campus but that still does not bring me joy.
I am lost. I have tried learning what happiness is on my own, in a relationship, with my friends and with my family but nothing is working.
I am a strong believer that you control your emotions and your attitude but when you have lost yourself, there are no emotions. I take my anger out on those around me and I keep everything bottled in. Everyone thinks I am happy and you will always see me with a smile on my face but I am nowhere near the level of happiness that I strive to be at.
I have learned one thing though. Take it day by day. Sometimes you just need to sit in a room by yourself and breathe. Other times being around people helps more than you know. Surround yourself with those who love you unconditionally, breathe and know that it will be okay.
As I sit here I realize that when you lose yourself, you just need to get right back up to find yourself.
To the girl who is losing herself, keep taking time for yourself until you're you again.