To The Girl Who Feels Incomplete Without A Guy
Start writing a post
Relationships

To The Girl Who Feels Incomplete Without A Guy

You really can be alone without being lonely.

10
To The Girl Who Feels Incomplete Without A Guy

I know it is hard. I know you probably think I do not understand, that I am going to throw a bunch of clichés at you and just be done with it. I am not. I am not, because I have been where you are. I know what it feels like to be so lonely that you are willing to lower your standards significantly (even if you would die before admitting that you are doing so) in order to just not be alone. I know how it feels to crave validation just as you crave the air you breathe, even if you do not realize that you are doing it. I know how it feels to drown in loneliness, to notice that everyone surrounding you is happy and in love, to feel like you will never find anyone again. I know.

Have Your Voice Heard: Become an Odyssey Creator

I know why you do not want to be alone. Because alone and lonely are two dangerously similar concepts, and it takes a lot of strength (that most struggle with and always will) to be alone without being lonely. It takes a deep understanding of yourself, your past and how you want your future to look to realize how important it is to be alone, and how important it is to truly love your life when you are alone. But when you're lonely, that's when it all comes rushing back. The insecurity. The self-doubt. The pain inflicted on you by the ones who made promises they could not (or just would not) keep. So you shove all this down and let random guys who don't deserve you temporarily numb the pain so you don't have to face it. You lower your standards until they are barely recognizable because it does not really matter who it is or how they treat you, just that you aren't alone.

If you do this for long enough, eventually you forget how to chase away the sadness on your own. Guys become a crutch for you. If you are never alone you can't be lonely, and if you can't be lonely you can't feel broken. But here's the problem: using faceless, nameless guys to numb the pain is a lot like using liquor for the same purpose. Eventually the high wears off, and when it does, the pain you feel will be twice as bad, plus a headache the next day. So you have to use it more and more until you lose yourself in the process. And trust me, you will lose yourself.

Do not lose yourself. Do not let the feelings and pain from your past chase away who you are. Do not be so afraid of your demons that you let them control you like that. If you cannot learn how to be happy alone, you will never be happy with someone else. You will always try to fill empty places in yourself with pieces of them and it will never be enough, and they will always come up short. That is not fair to them or to you. You will be amazed how much your life changes when you stop focusing all your energy on guys and what they think about you and, instead, start focusing on yourself and how you feel and think about you. Anything you do not like, you have the power to change and it's both as easy and as difficult as that. It takes time and hard work, a lot of it, but if you learn how to focus on yourself, you will be happier.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

54622
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

125266
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments