Losing a pet is never an easy thing to go through let alone try to go through it when you were away at college.

I apologize for not being there when you were at your weakest point and that I wasn't there to lay with you and say goodbye; to hold you in your final moments.

Part of me knows you were wondering where I was and the other part of me likes to think you were glad I wasn't there to see you like that. I wish I would have been though.

You were and are the hardest dog to lose. You were the last dog in the house so I will be arriving to an empty house this weekend. That will be the hardest part.

I won't hear your paws attacking the floor when you hear my voice in the house. I won't be jumped on and have millions of kisses planted on my cheeks. Nor will I have you to sit with me out the deck.

Every owner goes through the pain of feeling like they didn't do enough or didn't play or love their dog enough.

The truth is, I know you knew just how much I loved you.

I remember that day we picked you out; you were something special. You didn't care about playing with your brothers and sisters, you were more interested in me. In that moment I knew you were the one we were taking home.

You refused to stay in the box that we had in the bed of the truck with toys and a blanket for you, you wanted to be with me. You jumped through the small back window and curled up in my lap and fell asleep.

The next months were enjoyable yet a pain as we tired to train you. You destroyed all of your stuffed toys we got you so we quickly stopped buying those; our house looked like it had just snowed.

We would spray you with water to get you to stop barking and truth be told you weren't much of a barker but you knew you got water when you did so when you were thirsty you would bark.

I always wanted you to sleep with me when I was younger but every time I moved you thought I wanted to play so you never stayed still.

I remember coming home from school and you waiting for me at the door or even in the car when I was picked up because you wanted to go with.

I remember all the times I would sit on the deck with you while you played and then quickly tired yourself out and you'd lay by my feet.

Then you got older.

You grabbed your toys whenever you were happy and didn't want to play, just carry them around. You learned a few more tricks like how to back up when you knew you were too close for us to throw you a treat.

You went through a phase of not being able to make it up the stairs on your own but you over came that.

Your nose started to show your age, turning white. However, you weren't moving slower.

This coming weekend I was excited to come home and play with you since it wasn't supposed to rain and give you your first spring bath. Little did I know you'd go downhill in a matter of 17 hours.

To the dog I lost while I was away at college, I'm sorry I wasn't there with you but I hope you know that I love you and I am going to miss you. No dog will ever replace you but I hope you're up there with your partner in crime.

I'll see you again someday.