To the Dad who left and I've never known...
Start writing a post

To the Dad who left and I've never known...

I never left you but I don't need you

To the Dad who left and I've never known...

I've never known you. You left before I was born. I remember my mum telling me that you probably wished she had terminated the pregnancy. But she didn't, so I'm here and there's nothing you can do about that. I know many people are probably in the same situation as me but this particular letter is to you. I know where you live but I can never know where your mind and soul is.

I don't know how you could do that. Walk out. Leave. Never come back as if my mum and I were never a thing. Get together with some other woman, her name one I always dread the sound of. You gave me trust issues, you made me depressed, you ruined my mental state. If my dad is one of the two people who's meant to love me most in life, who will love me if he doesn't? You left scars on me and my brother and every now and again those scars will re-open and quite possibly will never heal.

You left me but I never left you.

But I can say: I don't need you!

You say you didn't need me and while it hurts like hell to know that truth, I'll swallow that hard pill. Anyone who's heart is that set in stone is hardly bound to change. However I know now that I don't need you.

I have so much in life you will have to miss.

You'll never get to meet all my amazing friends. All of the ones who have hugged me and comforted me through my darkest times, some of them crying over you. The friends I used to be jealous of because they had dads, ones they could cuddle and love and I didn't. Now they are the greatest family to me, I see them as brothers and sisters. We've laughed, danced, sang at the top of our lungs in a car, ran along the beach, had the deepest conversations and experienced life together. I never got that with you and I'm alright with that.

You'll never get to see me achieve in ways you never dreamt of. I've graduated school and you'll not get to see me start university. Oh how I wish you could see me waltz across that stage and grab that degree with a tight fist. Instead, I'll walk across smiling but at heart, I'll still be happy because I got there without you.

You'll not get to see me parade through life and achieve every dream I have my heart set on. And while that breaks my heart because I know you don't care, that won't stop me. I'll travel, and write, and do all my soul desires.

You never needed me and while I always thought I needed you, I feel like I don't. If I have came this far, if I've survived 18 years, I can survive 100. I don't care if I have only my mum cheering me on at graduation, or if I have to buy one less present every birthday and Christmas, or even if I have to walk myself down the aisle and give myself away at my own wedding, I'll do it!

To anyone experiencing this, it is the toughest thing you may experience. But know this, you can do it. There are times where you'll be pessimistic because believe me I am, in a sense, every day. But your dad doesn't define you. I still love my dad, even after all he's done, but that won't ever stop me from being me.

While your name and talking about you brings a sour taste to my mouth, I'll keep going. I'll keep fighting and keep living life. Some times will be good and some will be bad but you shouldn't care. Because if there's one thing you didn't raise, it's a failure of a daughter.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me

This one's for you, Spock.

6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me
Liz Abere

Owning a pet can get difficult and expensive. Sometimes, their vet bills cost hundreds of dollars just for one visit. On top of that, pets also need food, a wee wee pad for a dog, a litter box with litter for a cat, toys, and treats. Besides having to spend hundreds of dollars on them, they provide a great companion and are almost always there when you need to talk to someone. For the past six years, I have been the proud owner of my purebred Bengal cat named Spock. Although he's only seven years and four months old, he's taught me so much. Here's a few of the things that he has taught me.

Keep Reading...Show less

Kinder Self - Eyes

You're Your Own Best Friend

Kinder Self - Eyes

It's fun to see all of the selfies on social media, they are everywhere. I see pictures with pouty lips, duck lips and pucker lips. I see smokey eyes, huge fake lashes and nicely done nose jobs, boob jobs and butt lifts. Women working out in spandex, tiny tops and flip flops. I see tight abs and firm butts, manicured nails and toes, up dos and flowing hair. "Wow", I think to myself," I could apply tons of make-up, spend an hour on my hair, pose all day and not look like that. Maybe I need a longer stick!"

Keep Reading...Show less

Rap Songs With A Deeper Meaning

Rap is more than the F-bomb and a beat. Read what artists like Fetty, Schoolboy Q, Drake, and 2Pac can teach you.

Rap artist delivers performance on stage
Photo by Chase Fade on Unsplash

On the surface, rap songs may carry a surface perception of negativity. However, exploring their lyrics reveals profound hidden depth.Despite occasional profanity, it's crucial to look beyond it. Rap transcends mere wordplay; these 25 song lyrics impart valuable life lessons, offering insights that extend beyond the conventional perception of rap music.

Keep Reading...Show less

21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

Maybe don't try them all in one day...

21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

My 21st birthday is finally almost here. In honor of finally turning 21, I thought I'd share 21 fun drinks since it's finally legal for me to drink them.

Some of these drinks are basic, but some of them are a little more interesting. I thought they all looked pretty good and worth trying, so choose your favorites to enjoy at your big birthday bash!

Keep Reading...Show less

Ancient Roman Kings: 7 Leaders of Early Rome

The names and dates of the reigns of the first four kings, as well as the alternation of Sabin and Latin names, are more legendary than historical. The last three kings, of Etruscan origin, have an existence which seems less uncertain.

inside ancient roman building
Photo by Chad Greiter on Unsplash

It is evident that all this is only a legend although archeology shows us little by little that these kings if they did not exist as the ancient history, describes them, have at least in the very Outlines were real as chief of a shepherd’s tribe. The period when kings ruled Rome could estimate at 245 years.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments