You came into my life when I needed you most. I had lost all of who I was after being told I’d never play softball again and then… you appeared. Girls dream of their knight in shining armor, but you were my Louisiana boy with an unmatched love of crawdads, whose hair was too long for my Granddaddy’s liking and your dreams too big for that small town you called home. From day one I looked at you like you were God’s gift to the world. Your country twang didn’t quite fit in my Florida panhandle crowd but wasn’t questioned when they caught a glimpse your camouflage hat and treated you like one of their own. Little things like that still make me smile to this day and although you still sit heavy on my heart, I wouldn't change a thing about what happened to us.

Almost two years of my life I spent pining for your affection, on and off of course. Through highs and lows in our relationship I held out hope that one day maybe, just maybe, my Daddy would give me away to you at the altar. I planned out my Pinterest board, titled “A Dream is a Wish.” Bridesmaids, flower girls, and groomsmen in cowboy boots. Invitations that read silly things such as “the hunt is over” and barns decorated with Christmas lights and huge off-white drapes. Sometimes you watched over my shoulder and listened attentively as I talked about our future, occasionally telling me that you had other things in mind for our big day.

And then… like the flip of a switch, your mind changed. I was no longer the girl you wanted to marry. I was no longer the reason you woke up every morning in a good mood or the reason you didn’t want to go to sleep at night because that meant we would stop talking on the phone. Two-hour calls turned into a quick good night text and eventually we grew too far apart to really fix our relationship. I was too far gone to be loved.

They say hindsight is 20/20 and I admit, there were so many things I could have done to keep our relationship from falling apart like it did. I let my insecurities and dark days get the best of me and the best of you. You tried so hard to help me love myself but in the end, you didn’t get to see that. I wasn’t able to share with you the person I am today. A girl who is entirely in love with herself. Although my heart aches for you sometimes and I start to miss your laughter, your light, your immense love of life, I wouldn’t change a thing about the past.

We may not ever meet each other at the altar, but I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for saving me and helping me become the person I am today.