To A Terrible Friend: Thank You

Let me begin by saying we should all thank our great friends (pictured). They are hard to come by.

We have all been there. We have all seen a friend constantly get hurt, used and disappointed by another person. The normal response is to hate the person who dared to hurt your friend. Typically your friend forgives that person before you do, causing turmoil in your relationship. I have been there--the long arguments of why the person is a bad friend, why they should not waste their time on them, why they should just move on. Your friend is hesitant because they have known them for so long, they feel they deserve chance after chance. It makes you wonder, when does the length of a friendship matter more than the quality of it?

I am here to tell you, no matter what you say or do, your friend needs to figure it out themselves. If the other person is not a great friend, chances are your friend will figure it out eventually. You have to be there when they do screw up for that last time. Do not sit there and say 'I told you so;' just be there to say I am sorry that I was right. Your first reaction will be anger, and the thought of retaliation.

This is the letter to that person who took advantage of your friend.

Dear A**hole,

I wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for finally showing your true colors. For so long you were the center of our arguments and the only reason why we fought. For once, I am sad that I am right. You hurt the person who means the most to me, and for that I will never forgive you. I knew you were not a good friend, and I trusted you to prove me wrong. This is the last time I ever trust that. I never give anyone second chances, but because I love him, I was willing to give you three, then four, then five and six chances.

Let me be clear, that was for him, NOT for you. So long he defended you every time you messed up. Every time he would see me upset by the way you acted, he was right there to defend you. Though he was a great friend, you went ahead and ruined it. He trusted you to be a good friend and let the length of your friendship cloud his judgement for how you really are as a friend. He went to great ends for you even when no one else gave you a chance.

Thank you for finally screwing up the last time. Anytime you needed anything, he would help you. What have you ever done for him, aside from use him all these years? When have you ever gone out of your way for him? I bet you have a real tough time answering those questions. You have only cared about yourself and if it does not benefit you, you would never do it. Thankfully, he has other friends who are right there for him, who can step up and take the roles you were suppose to have. The best guy friend he has now is great and has shown him a better friendship in three years than you did in 17.

Thank you, he now knows what he does not want in a friend. I was there for him through everything and I will never leave him or treat him poorly. The loss is yours, you lost a great friend the day you decided not to be there when he counted on you the most. You lost the only person who has ever stuck up for you, and has ever thought you could be anything other than a selfish loser. You showed the world the real you that day, and everyone was watching. When are you going to wake up and be a better person to people around you? Don't bother trying to patch the holes you made in this friendship, they are far beyond repair. You can blame me, call me names, tell everyone that I am the worst person.

Hopefully, you knew that the people you talk to respect him enough to tell him all the dirt you have said behind our back. Thank you again, that will just add to his list of reasons why you are not his best friend anymore. Truth is, as much as I wish it was, I was not the one who made him walk away from your friendship that day. He did that all on his own.

Thank you for showing him how he should (not) be treated. You taught him to never lower his standards again.