Well, we made it. We got through another Valentine’s Day without a date or plans other than getting wine drunk while watching Netflix. As much as I thoroughly enjoy the touch of the grape, it can only take me so far in substituting the feeling of having a significant other. If you, reader, are single like me, then I am sure you may feel the same way from time to time about having something that fills the void. It can get depressing seeing people your age in a happy, healthy relationship, but what can be harder to watch is having friends who are dating as well and asking yourself “why can’t I be like them?” It’s the same feeling as being at a New Year’s party and having no one to kiss when the ball drops. We feel more pressure than ever to have a relationship to avoid being the odd one out amongst our peers.
In the age of technology where dating has become a “swipe left/right” culture, we are limited to viewing multiple profiles and judging people based on three pictures and a two-sentence biography. Long are becoming the days when people could meet each other face to face and have a cup of coffee. Now, when someone suggests that, they get weird looks because the person they are interested in has become so absorbed in using apps like Tinder and OkCupid to engage in meaningless conversation that they simply do not know how to react. Thus, they end up in meaningless relationships than with someone who gives a damn.
One of the hardest parts about talking to someone you like is coming up with the right things to say. Waves of anxiety over things like stumbling over words or talking about something that is interesting to you but not to the other person inhibits the courage to make the attempts.
There is a lack of openness in conversation when it comes to dating and just letting two people be themselves without reservation. People tend to be too picky about what they want in a significant other as well, going as far as pointing out things that are out of their potential interest’s control and calling them dealbreakers like their weight or looks. It eclipses a person’s true worth and aspects of their personality that would really make the relationship one of the most fulfilling experiences for both parties.
I might sound tacky in saying this, but there is hope. Out of at least seven billion people, somewhere out there is your other half. There is definitely something about you that someone else finds cute, admirable, and might even be enough to fall in love with you at first sight.
Gay, straight, bisexual, trans, cisgendered.
No matter how you identify, there is someone who values you just the way you are and wants to devote as much as they can of themselves to make you happy. None of that will happen overnight, as I have learned in my 22 years on this earth. It takes a lot of persevering and time to build on the qualities that best define you, and you have certainly proved that. If that isn't comforting, I will say that I care about you, reader.
I appreciate you as you are and your time for reading what I have to say. Sometimes it is hard putting ourselves out there in a world ready to hurt us, but the worst it can do is knock you down until an opportunity to get up presents itself. Only you will know when that time will be, and you will be more than ready for it and gain the happiness you deserve.
