Hey there, past self,
Life's pretty crazy, isn't it? I look back and think about how insecure you are and how obsessed you are with what people think. Trust me, that side of you hasn't totally disappeared, but it has gotten better. It's sad to me when I think about how much you doubt yourself. You were always put in the middle group in grade school, thinking that you weren't smart enough to really make any real contributions academically. But then, you got into the all honors program in high school and eventually graduated with your International Baccalaureate diploma. You got into best school in the nation (I'm a little biased) and have a great opportunity for an internship ahead of you. That was all you; you earned it and be proud of yourself.
You are too afraid of change and too afraid to be alone, but you're not alone. You're fighting your personal demons, but you're resilient and strong. Mom always says your life pattern is that shit happens to you, things don't quite always work out how you want them to, but in the long run, eventually, things work out the way you need them to. Trust me, I've begun to notice with time that I've dodged a few bullets even though I felt crushed and disappointed at the time.
Most of all, you need to step out of your comfort zone more, accept love from others and make yourself a priority. If anyone doesn't recognize and appreciate how special you truly are, they're not worth your time. And most of all, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Trust yourself and your abilities, always do your best but sometimes, shit happens. As they say, life isn't about what happens to you, it's how you respond to it. You're doing great, and people are proud of you even when it feels like you're drowning and can't take a second to breathe.
Appreciate and love yourself, because even though you may not feel like it now, you are worthy of love. I wish I would have learned that fact earlier. While everyday is still different, put your head down and trudge through the bad, and appreciate and stay humble throughout the good. Know that you are surrounded by people who love and support you, and never lose yourself again.
With love,
Your future self
