To My Sister I Love But Don’t Always Like,

I love you as much as any sister could love another, but that doesn’t mean I always like you.

We aren’t best-friends like we used to be when we were 4. We fight a lot, we both say things we can’t take back, and we catch ourselves disliking each-other in the moment.

When I fight with you, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It just means I’m sick of you for a hot second, and I need you to get away from me.

I will defend you until the day I die. If somebody is ever talking about you to an extent I cannot handle, I will, by all means, call them out on it.

It’s different if I talk about you, vs. if somebody else does. I can say you’re annoying me right there and then. I can say you’re being a brat and you’ve been selfish lately. I can complain you steal my clothes and eat my leftovers and don’t clean up the bathroom when you’re done getting ready.

That doesn’t give Bethany from Bio class who follows you on Instagram but has never talked to you in person, the right to call you a bitch. It doesn’t really work like that.

If somebody is being mean to you, whether it’s over social media or in person, or even just giving you a vibe that you don’t belong there, I will call them out. (You know this is true because I’ve done it many times whether you’ve liked it or not)

I will defend you until the day I die, and I hope you’d do the same for me.

There’s no one else I’d rather stay up late watching impractical jokers with. Your laugh is contagious (and annoying, don’t get too ahead of yourself... (kidding)) I’ve never had so much fun staying up late watching a TV show than I have with you, and don’t think anyone will ever be able to top it.

I’m sorry for all the times I’ve called you ignorant, or stupid, or dumb, or mean. I know, I’m making myself look bad here. I know you don’t always feel school smart, but everyone has those moments.

I know the worst thing you’d ever want to be called is mean. I’m sorry for ever picking at your weak spots.

You are smart when it comes to being a good person. Sisters aren’t necessarily always nice to each other, so even if you act otherwise towards me sometimes, you are nice and true to other people.

You do put others first.

You never, and will never mean harm. Out of a group of 20 people, while 19 of them sit there and make fun of the overweight girl in a mini skirt, you would be the one calling her beautiful, happy that she’s happy in her own skin. You would be the one clapping for a singer everyone else had no enjoyment in listening to. You would be the one to stop and move a turtle out of the road even if you’re running 15 minutes late to class. You would be the one to forgive those who have no right to be forgiven. You have a big heart, and you don’t get recognized for it enough.

I’m sorry for the friends you may have lost, but I hope you know they really lost you.

I have never met somebody funnier than you, and I mean that with my whole heart. Anyone who knows you knows EXACTLY what I’m talking about. I can’t even count the times you’ve literally made me pee my pants. I can’t count the times I’ve laughed until I couldn’t breathe, and sometimes even until I thought I was going to puke.

I have never met someone willing to waste their gas for that last minute coffee run to catch up with some friends. (I yell at you for this all the time, but it’s still spontaneous)

I have never met someone willing to do so many things to make other people happy, like give them a Christmas gift even if you haven’t been close for a while.

I’m sorry for the way you’ve been thought of, and the way you felt up at summer camp when all you were trying to do was be liked, accepted, and approved of by those who made you feel unwanted. Much like you see, I felt that for you too. They will sadly never be able to know you like I do, and that’s something that I know they’d regret if they had the chance to get to know you.

I’m grateful for you every day. I’m even grateful for the days you annoy me to an extent of no other. I’m grateful to have had you by my side all these years, I have no clue what it’s like to ever be alone and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.