Dear Roomie,
You haven’t been completely yourself lately. I know from just living with you that this isn’t you. There comes a point in every depression recovery story where the pills stop working and those sad thoughts come rushing back. I remember going through this myself. It was some of the worst times of my life. It feels as if the entire weight of the world was toppling on top of you. It wasn’t always like this. You just want to remember what it was like when it wasn’t like this. You’re skipping class. You’re staying in bed all day. You’re watching Netflix instead of doing homework. You’re losing yourself, and you want to quit.
But I’m here to tell you that you will eventually have your eureka moment. The moment that makes your brain switch back to your old self. We’ve been through a lot in our short 6 months living together. With the incident last fall, both of us getting our hearts broken, late nights crying over chemistry, and realizing McDonald’s can nearly fix everything it seems like nothing can surprise us anymore. But we’re young and naive.
So many more things happen in life, to the point of no real reasoning. Sometimes these burdens can feel like they’ll never be fixed, but I can assure you they will. Every now and again we need to wash our eyes with tears so we can see clearly again, go home to have some much needed doggie therapy and your mom’s cooking, and a day where you can fully sleep. I have come to realize that doing one or any of these things isn’t a sign of weakness, it makes you human. You are human, you have these basic rights.
One thing I’ve learned from our 2 weeks apart during pledging is that you always hold your sister up. You are my sister, and I will hold you up. Like I said, things will become easier. I know this first month back at school has been rough for you, but here’s my advice for you.
Go to class; You need to keep your grades up. I know it’s hard but when you get better you’ll thank yourself endlessly for it (and so will your GPA.)
Have “me” time; Sometimes the stress gets to be too much, so watch a 20 minute youtube video and take a shower. You’ll feel so much better.
Eat a real meal; we both need to do this more, go to the dining hall instead of living off of noodles and popcorn. This is part of the reason we both feel so bad constantly.
Take deep breaths; I know right now it doesn’t seem like you’ll ever see that light at the end of the tunnel, but it will happen with time.
I’m not telling you these things will come easy, but I am telling you that when it comes it will feel like a weight has been lifted off you. It may come with when your stressed over homework or when you’re laying in bed one night. There’s no telling when it will happen, but when it hits, you’ll shine more than ever before.
We’ll get through this my love.
