I realize your job is hard. You have to keep 50 teenagers in line, teach them how to play music and march in time, and make them want to stay in the band despite its many challenges. You dedicated years of your life to mastering multiple instruments, music theory, and conducting — and now you dedicate the majority of your week to marching band, as well as concert band for both middle and high school. On top of all that, you have to remain professional while being a teacher, a coach, and a parent. I don’t envy you that.

I realize your job is hard, but I want you to stop disrespecting my friends and former bandmates.

I’ve heard stories of how you lose your temper and yell at them. You hold grudges, you want to prove that you’re in charge, and you hate to be wrong. I saw that many in my two years under your direction. But the girl who spoke up to tell you that you were looking at the wrong page of the drill and the boy who helps to correct freshmen’s spots on the field aren’t conspiring against you. You’re all on the same side, part of the same organization.

Please realize that just as you have your own struggles, so do the band members have theirs. They may be battling depression, insecurity, or sheer clumsiness. They have classwork, college applications, and a few have unstable lives at home. The majority of people joined marching band because they love it. They work hard to improve every day, but they’re also relying on you to hold up your end.

Sometimes you’re filled with such enthusiasm. You make jokes, start chants, and mess around good-naturedly. Those are the times when people remember that they love marching band. But then you let your temper get the better of you. You lash out and tear other people down. That’s when their faith in you crumbles, and you have to work to rebuild it again.

I know that you aren’t a self-centered person. Marching band is inherently a group effort, in which no man can be an island — least of all the director. But when you react aggressively to anyone who points out your mistakes — especially when the intent is clearly not malicious — the band sees only that you care about protecting your reputation. Respect is a two-way street, and there have been too many collisions along the way. One of you has to step up to fix that. I want you to remember why you love teaching music and communicate that to the band.

You are united by a common cause; but divided by a lack of communication and a failure of respect. Marching band is an activity that cannot afford those divisions. This year’s season may be over, but now is the time to lay the foundation for next year. I am asking you to control your temper and respect the band members who have devoted just as many hours to marching band as you did. Change has to start with someone. I challenge you to be that change.