It’s been years since I’ve last talked to you and it’s probably for the best. To think of the possibility that we could have been forever haunted me every day, until now.
I was 15, I didn’t know a single thing about love other than what Taylor Swift told me in her song “Fifteen.” Because, apparently, when you’re 15 and someone tells you they love you, you’re going to believe them. I know I believed you. I believed in the first taste of romance I had, after all those years of feeling like no fish would bite the bait and when you finally took it, I was hooked on your love. Only thing is, I was your cure and you were my disease. I was saving you, but you were killing me.
You see, the wrong person will have you think you’re asking too much of them, when in reality, it’s them who can’t offer you that much.
Letting go of the bitter taste you left in my mouth was the best thing I could’ve done for myself. I had to learn the hard way that letting go of toxic people doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you someone who realizes that you can’t keep holding on to the "what if" and "could be".
The time is now and in this moment, you are the most important thing in your life and the next time you make the choice to release something or someone toxic, if anyone has the audacity to accuse you of giving up or being too weak, you are not weak. Remind yourself every single day that you don’t need anyone’s permission or approval to live your life the way you want. You are in control of yourself, and only you.
If it wasn’t for the bitter taste you left on my tongue, I may have never realized that you were bitter and I was sweet and together we were like a match to a flame, bound to burn out.
So, thank you for leaving that bitter taste on my tongue and proving to me that, even though we didn’t work out, I can be okay. From the slashes you cut into my heart and the salt you poured onto my lips, I learned that the burning pain of your toxic love could not go anymore.
The greatest thing you’ll ever come to learn is to love yourself wholeheartedly and undoubtedly know that you are more than the scars they left on your heart and the bitterness on your lips. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself. Remember, no relationship is ever worth sacrificing your dignity and respect for. Love yourself and love others despite you being hurt, because there is nothing better than tasting the sweetness that you leave on someone else’s lips.
