To My First Love, It's Time For You To Give Me My Heart Back

"Oh sweetheart, we did more then just kiss."

"Haha, he said that? No, I f**ked him 3 times"

How can the worst text message you ever receive you in your life, be also the best?

You cheated on me. You killed some of the best parts of me and stole some of the best memories of my life. We were over a year together then the first girl came into our lives. I had just moved off to college and as I was attempting to learn the Arabic language and suffering with kidney issues, you were expressing your frustration of the distance with someone else. You slept with someone else. The fact, that killed me. And hearing you say that to me after she told me, left me frozen in place. Stuttering the same words over and over again. I wasn't just heart broken. I was lost. You were my everything. first love. We spent two proms, graduation together, friends dying, college lived through every best and every painful moment with me. We fell in love again for God together. And talked about marriage and how we would wait.

But, then all that happened. I was lost. So, what did I do? I stayed with what felt comfortable. I put bandages over my broken heart and kept my head down. If someone were to ask me how many times you cheated one me, I could not tell you and honest number.

You would cheat.

And I would stay.

You'd cheat and I would push it off.

I kept staying and accepting the fact that this, the cheating, the manipulation, the lies was the best love I would get. Until the day I had enough. The day that I came home to the dorms, and tore off everything of yours off my wall. I was done. It was time to rip off the bandage that I had laid on my wounds to forget about you.

I gave you back your heart that day. I was done.

Do not call, "Hey aren't so and so ex?" or, "You're so and so girl". He didn't owe me. I was never his to label. So, why after all this time do you still have this sort of possession over me?

It is time for you to give me back my heart.

You have a girlfriend. Yet, after all these years you still hit me up. Stop. Stop telling me that it has always been me. That I am the one. Stop spending all day calling me and messaging me. It is not only ridiculous, but hurts. You have someone new. And I am just done. Done with feeling like your property. Done.

Stop saying you want to marry me. Stop having your friends message me. Or, attempting to get to me through my family.

To the men who broke our hearts, you have no right to come back into our lives after we are healed.

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