To My Dearest Future Daughter, From Your Mom At 19

To My Dearest Future Daughter, From Your Mom At 19

Even though I don't plan on having children for at least 10 years, there are some things I want my future daughter to know.
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Dear Evangeline, or Sloan, or maybe Honor:

Hi. This is honestly pretty surreal. Me as a mom? I imagine reading this back when I find out I’m pregnant, or the day you come into this world. I’ll probably think some of the things I’ve said here are stupid. What was 19-year-old-me thinking?

Right now I’m a college student just over halfway to my degree. I have no boyfriend or credit score, and my biggest concern is finding a date for formal. The only things I can cook are eggs and toast.

Right now I’m about as far away from being a mother as one could be. Stability and domesticity are antonyms for the hectic, whirlwind of my life at college. I survive on Mean Bean Monsters and ramen, and the only routine I have is for my skin, and even that is pretty loose. Last night I went to bed at 5 a.m. I wasn’t even studying, I was just rewatching "Captian America."

If I had a kid right now I’d lose my mind, and likely the baby.

My life has always been like this, unpredictable and adventurous and exciting, and I hope it’ll be like this for some time. I want to travel to far away places and tell peoples’ story as a journalist.

While I couldn’t imagine having a kid now, or in five years, or 10, I know at some point I’ll change my mind, and then you’ll come into the world and change everything.

That being said, I don’t imagine I will live out of a suitcase forever. One day, hopefully, I’m going to fall in love and get a house and have a kid. You.

Who do I want you to be? Who do I want to be when I have you? What do I want our relationship to be like?

If you and I are anything like me and my mom, we’re going to fight, a lot, but we’ll also form a bond so strong and amazing there would be nothing to tear it down. We’ll be each others’ secret keepers, best friends, and support systems.

My mom has sacrificed everything and has dedicated her existence to my brother and me. She has fought for us and worked endlessly to craft us into good, loving people. If I can be half of the mother my mom is, then I’ll have succeeded.

My mom taught me to be honest and hardworking, to also put God and family above all else. She raised me to be strong and passionate, to stand firm in the face of adversity and make my mark on the world. I want to teach you to do the same.

I want to raise my children to be smart, and strong, and ambitious, and independent, but most of all kind. There’s a lot of darkness and hate in this world, but I want to teach you to always seek out the light, and if you can’t find it, be it. Give to others and live as God intended, loving even those who hate you.

I’m going to teach you so much cool stuff as well. I’m going to help you learn to paint, ride horses, and read. There will be so many amazing works of art I’ll show you. One day, I’ll take you to the places I’ve traveled to, just like my dad and grandfather took me to places they’ve been. We’ll walk through the cathedrals of Europe I was mesmerized by and climb the mountains I explored as a child.

Then we’ll go on new adventures and make our own memories. I want you to see and do everything this world has to offer. I want you to experience life in a thousand people’s shoes so that you can reflect and grow your own existence.

I know it sounds like there are a million expectations already for you, but you’ll have all the help in the world to become an amazing woman and leader. You’ll not only have me but your entire family behind you.

You’re going to be loved infinitely. There will be no wrong you could commit that will take away that love. Your father and I (whoever he shall be) will give our lives to you. Your grandparents will be mesmerized by you. I can already see my mom dressing you up in frilly outfits that I’ll roll my eyes at but secretly love. Your grandfather will teach you to fish and to hit a baseball, just like he taught me.

You’re going to face hard times, but I’ll be there. If you’re anything like me you’ll break seemingly every bone in your body (twice). You’re going to eat lunch alone. A boy will break your heart. You’re not going to get the job. It’s going to feel awful and you’ll feel absolutely alone. I know, because I’ve been there. When you feel like that I’ll wipe your tears and tell you about the horror years of middle school, and that if I could survive, so can you. I’ll help you egg a guy’s car too.

I won’t say I’m going to be perfect. I’m going to make mistakes. Sometimes I’ll be unfair and angry. I might be too chaotic when all you want is stability. I’ll oversleep and miss your ballet lesson. I’ll let you dress yourself for picture day and then in 10 years you’ll hate me for it.

I’m not going to be the picture-perfect mom who wears Lululemon and plays tennis. I can’t bake homemade cookies. I have tattoos and I’ll probably go through a crisis and dye my hair bright red (again). There’s no question — I’ll disappoint you.

Despite what flaws I have and will have, I’ll try my best. Life is an adventure and we’ll journey together. I’ve got a lot of learning and living to do before you’re born. I’ll tell you all about it when we meet.

See you in 10 years (at least),

Mom

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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21 Things You Say To Your Roommate If You Two Are Practically A Married Couple

Until I made this list, I didn't realize how absurdly close my roommate and I were. #sorrynotsorry
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Let's be real: you and your roommate have said these things at least one to each other.

1. "Can you turn the light off?"

2. "We probably shouldn't go out for dinner again...right?"

*Complains about not having money* *Spends $8 on Chipotle three times a week*

3. "I always pick where we go"

This is a fight you have with your roommate almost every day when you're roommate is as indecisive as mine.

4. "Do you have my keys?"

5. "Can you pick me up?"

6. "Is it hot in here?"

7. "Does this outfit look stupid?"

The answer is usually yes. No offense.

8. "Can you throw this out for me?"

9. "Can we get ice cream?"

10. "I need coffee."

This text is usually sent when you know your roomie is out running errands... errands you know are near a Starbucks.

11. "Can you tell me what happened?"

12. "Are you asleep?"

There have been times where I couldn't tell if you were asleep or dead... and I had to say this out loud to check if you were alive.

13. "Check your DM's."

*Cracks up in the middle of nowhere* *Catches a weird stare from your roomie across the room*

14. "Can you plug this in for me?"

15. "Can you pick a movie?"

Another instance where "I always pick" happens.

16. "Look at this girl's Instagram."

*Chucks phone across the room at roommate*

17. "Can you call me?"

18. "Can we meet up?"

19. "Can you help me find my phone?"

*Tries to leave the house to do something* *Loses phone* Every. Time.

20. "What should we do tonight?"

*Tries to get ready to do something fun* *Ends up staying in for another girls' night*

21. "Why isn't everyone as great as us?"

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Cover Image Credit: Juliarose Genuardi

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My Mom Is My Biggest Weakness In The Best Way Possible

Although my mom is still my parent, she's also a friend.

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My parents are everything to me. They raised me to be independent, strong, smart, and hard working. They made sure to keep me in line, to ensure that I would be respectful and responsible. They raised me to be prepared for the world before I graduated high school. For everything they've done, I'm very grateful.

Focusing on my mom more specifically, she is my weakness. By that I mean, I can go to her with anything and I know she's willing to listen, to be open, and she won't impart judgment.

My mom always knows how to calm me down, but she is the one person who can also make me cry harder. I don't mean this in a bad way. It's just that whenever I've had a tough day or my anxiety has been heightened by some ordeal, I know that if I see my mom or if I even call her over the phone, the waterworks come flooding. I don't know what it is about my mom that makes me feel so emotional, so vulnerable. Each time I go to her, it's almost as if I'm a kid again, crawling into her mother's arms, seeking a nurturing soul to tell me that everything will be okay.

Sometimes I even avoid calling my mom when I'm in a rut because I refuse to cry or feel weak. For instance, if I had a problem, I'd avoid talking to her about it. If a week goes by, I'll update her on my problems, and begin crying about it (even though I was already over it beforehand). My mom can bring out anything from me. She laughs when I tell her this because she knows that no matter how old her baby girl gets, she'll always need her mama.

I think as I've gotten older, I've realized how much more my parents mean to me. As a kid, I always felt like they were against me. I felt as if they didn't want me to do anything and didn't want me to grow. As an adult, I realize it's the exact opposite. My parents have always wanted what's best for me, and because I've grown to understand this, I feel so much closer to them.

I feel as though now, although my mom is still my parent, she's also a friend. She's someone I can go to when I feel down, someone I can go to for a good laugh. She's so much better than me in so many ways. She's outgoing, loud, obnoxious, smart, and is always seeing the good in situations. When I talk about my mom to other people, they're always so interested in meeting with her or talking with her. When they finally get the chance to, they're instantly drawn to her character. They're drawn to her laughter. I kid you not, my mom can light up a room in seconds. She is always the life of the party. It sometimes makes me jealous when people find out how amazing my mother is because I swear they'd rather be friends with her than me.

What people don't see is her struggles. They don't see the pain she goes through with her ongoing injury. They don't see that not only does it take a physical toll, but also an emotional toll. She hides it really well because that's what parents are "supposed to do." My mom is the strongest person I know and to see the two contrasts of her is astonishing. To think that someone so full of life can also battle personal struggles, it's hard to see, especially because she's my mom and all I want is the best for her. One part of my mom struggles while the other part of her is so vibrant, so full of life, so sassy.

I don't know how she's put up with all of the hardships in her life. I've never seen someone work so hard and refuse to fail. She refuses to be taken advantage of. I've never seen someone as amazing as my mother. She can do anything.

I think my mom looks down on herself sometimes. I think, like any woman, she sees imperfections. What I don't think she sees, that I wish she would, is the tenacity she has. I want her to see herself the way I do: beautiful, strong, courageous, sassy, outgoing. I could go on and on about how much my mom inspires me and how she's made me appreciate her in more ways than one.

Mom, thank you for all that you do and all that you are. I hope you know how much Rachel, Vanessa and I all love you. I hope you know that no matter what struggles we go through, you are our rock. You hold the fort down and you're always there to make sure we're good, even when you aren't yourself. Thank you for always thinking of us, for believing in us, and for never turning your back. I love you more than you know.

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