A Letter To My Best Friend

To The Best Friend I Lost Too Soon

I'll never forget you or the words you told me.

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Patrick,

It's been a month since you passed and it still doesn't seem real. I constantly wake up expecting a cheesy snapchat or asking me for help on homework or reminding me how important I am to the world. Sometimes I'll go to pull out my phone to message you about things happening at ECU or to ask you how home is, but then I remember.

I don't know what happened that day. No one knows. All we know is that a part of us is missing now. Your picture is watching me as I write this, and I can't help but think you're watching over me, too.

Things are different without you here. My mom and I can't joke about our future wedding or you proposing to me with those humongous earrings- which by the way- will never make sense to me. I wish I still got to see your shining smile or play with your hair until you fell asleep in class, even though I told you that you needed to pay attention. Our late night FaceTime calls while I helped you write a paper right after I finished mine will forever be in my memory. Nothing is the same without you here, Patty.

We met in the sixth grade. You were goofy and annoying and I was quiet and shy, but we somehow managed to become really close. Seventh grade came and went, we had a few conversations, but not nearly enough. When eighth grade came, we had every class together. We grew closer than ever before and I am so thankful it happened. High school came and went but we still talked. You would ask me for help with homework, or when we had classes together, you would sit beside me and ask me what momma packed you today.

Eventually, mom caught on and started packing me extras so I could feed you during Biology, even though I'm pretty sure your mom would always try to get you to eat something before you left in the mornings.

I wish I had more time with you to tell you everything I need to say, but this will suffice. I want to thank you for always keeping a smile on my face, even when things got bad. You never gave up on me and I am forever appreciative of that. You were such a genuine soul and I know you did everything in your heart to make others happy, even if you didn't realize it. Without you- there's no telling where I'd be. I miss you so much. We all miss you. You were a light for so many people and you impacted our lives greatly.

I'll never forget you, or the words you told me. "You're a big light in a small world, you just don't realize it yet." These are the words that drive me to do the best that I can. I want to make you and everyone around me proud. I want to make a change in the world, just like you.

I never thought that I would be writing this for you, but I guess that's how life works. No one tells us as young people that we might deal with the loss of our best friends, but the harsh reality is that it happens more often then we realize. It's something we don't want to face, but we have to. Just know that even though you're gone, you are forever in our hearts.

Take care of my Grammy until I get there. For now, I've got to make you both proud.

I love you forever.

Nyah

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20 Phrases All Roommates Say To Each Other

Some common phrases all roommates have said to each other at some point.
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1. Do I have to go to class?

2. When do you have class today?

3. Want to get lunch before your next class?

4. Do you think I need to wash my hair? I can’t tell if it’s greasy.

5. What’s the weather? I don’t know what to wear.

6. Are you going out tonight?

7. What should I wear tonight?

8. Can I borrow a shirt?

9. We have to watch *insert Netflix show here*.

10. Want to order in dinner tonight?

11. We have to take a cute picture tonight so I can Instagram.

12. Is this a good caption for my Instagram? How’s the edit?

13. Ok I instagrammed … go like and comment.

14. We should probably clean our room soon.

15. Can I borrow your *insert random item here*

16. I’m so hungry.

17. I think it’s time to do our laundry.

18. I’m going to start eating healthy and go to the gym more.

19. The dining hall menu is so bad today.

20. Thanks for being my best friend.

Cover Image Credit: Author's photo

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Yes, Your Soulmate Is Out There, But You’re Looking In All The Wrong Places

Society has taught us that we should spend our lives looking for the one, but we often tend to ignore the one that's right in front of our eyes.

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Browsing through Netflix the other night, I decided on a new show whose concept intrigued me. Set in futuristic Europe, the show Osmosis follows the story of a company with the technology to help you find your soulmate. The show is beautifully done, and even through the layers of sci-fi and drama, is deeply emotional. We all grew up with the concept of a soulmate in mind when thinking of our future romantic partner. But as we grew and changed, got dumped, dated assholes, and waded through a seemingly endless pool of losers, the concept of a soulmate became silly. The idea that there is just one person for you out there among seven billion humans on the planet seems silly. While the idea of the one might remain somewhere in your mind, as you swipe through endless tinder matches and get ghosted by yet another dude, you've come to accept the fact that you might just have to settle.

Okay, maybe you're not that hopeless, but we don't live in fairyland either. You might find the one to settle with, you'll just find someone, and that's okay. But while you lament the loss of your prince charming, they might have been there throughout your whole life. No, I'm not talking about that kid that's been in love with you since seventh grade. We are told our soulmates have to be romantic. Your other half that completes you. This is where society got it wrong, however. If we think about the ideal soulmate, the criteria a soulmate searching technology would use, what comes to mind? Someone who you connect with on a deep level. Someone you can be completely open with. Someone who loves you unconditionally and wants only the best for you. While these all might be boyfriend or girlfriend material, when you think about it, they could be applied to anyone. Romance does not have to enter the equation to be totally and deeply connected to someone. You might have already found your soulmate. Because in reality, your soulmate could be your best friend. Your soulmate could be your sibling, your childhood friend, even your mom.

It might be weird to think about, but once we remove the need for romance from the equation, it makes perfect sense. Two souls don't need to be connected sexually in order to be connected fully. If, when, you find someone who understands you and loves you more than anyone else on the planet, they could be your soulmate. Society often devalues the importance of platonic relationships. In the endless pursuit for a mate, we neglect to love those around us who have just as much to offer. Platonic relationships can be just as fulfilling as sexual relationships. Sharing a relationship with someone, spending time with them, loving them, building them up. These can all be done outside of a romantic relationship.

My friend Ray has always said that she has met her soulmate in her best friend, Brock. Brock is gay. Ray and Brock have no intention of ever becoming romantically involved. When Ray first mentioned that she and Brock are soulmates, I didn't fully understand. Yes, he might be your best friend, but surely a best friend can't be your soulmate. He can't provide everything you need from a significant other. But that's not the point. Your soulmate does not have to be your significant other. Having a soulmate doesn't mean you can't love someone else just as deeply and affectionately, and who says you can't have more than just one? What Ray and Brock share is a deep trust, love, affection, and understanding that could never be replicated outside their friendship. Them being friends does not change this. Instead of looking to find this in someone romantically, they have acknowledged that they are each other's soulmate, and have chosen to value and appreciate that.

Watching Osmosis the other night, I was moved. The way they describe soulmates was moving and beautiful, and it made me think. In the middle of watching it, I texted my friend of 6 years "You're my soulmate." He and I have never and will never be romantically involved. But we don't need to be. His friendship is more valuable to me than any romantic interaction, and though we might not be in a relationship, he is the one person who fits the criteria of my soulmate. I might never have realized that had I not been described the concept of soulmate, in a romantic context no less. Hearing soulmates described made me realize my soulmate had been right in front of my eyes all my life.

Finding the one in a sea of 7 billion seems preposterous. But maybe you don't have to worry about that. Don't limit yourself to romantic partners to be your soulmate. Don't limit yourself to just one soulmate. If you find someone you deeply love, understand, and trust, do just that. Thrive in the love, trust, and understanding you will receive back from them. You don't need to go searching for your soulmate, they will be there at the right time, in the right place, you might just not know where to look.

Not all your friends have to be your soulmate for you to love them to the best of your ability though. Writing this article has led me to appreciate the relationships I have all the more. Platonic relationships provide so much more for you than you could expect, and you should never hesitate to appreciate your friends for all they do. Soulmate or not, make it a goal to tell your friends how much you love them as much as you can. A friendship is a valuable and beautiful relationship that deserves just as much respect as a romantic relationship. Text your friend today and tell them how much you appreciate them. You never know, they might be your soulmate.

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