To my anonymous bully,

I struggled with the pain you caused me...

Your comments and words still live within my conscious, buried deep, deep down. Your laughs, taunts, and words typed on a screen still flash through my mind every time I look in a mirror or take off my makeup. Your words have lit a fire in me that I can no longer extinguish. The fire has grown so big, sometimes I think I will burn from the inside out. But you wouldn’t guess that from looking at me...would you?

If you were to ask me how I am, I would have given you a soft smile and say I am okay, but my true feelings are creeping up my throat clawing to get out. You somehow managed to work your way into every aspect of my life, like sand wedging its way into the cracks of a floor. You have taken over me, and for what reason, was I an easy target? Was there a reason you picked me…did I deserve this?

Would it make you feel better to hear that you have permanently ruined me? You told 13-year-old me that I was fat, now I continuously stare at my body in front of the mirror. You said I was stupid, now I am terrified to answer a question in my class lecture. You have managed to take over my mind, you were the puppeteer and I was your puppet. You now have complete control of me.

I envy you and the power you had over me. You must have felt very proud of yourself, for tearing someone down so much. Using me as a pedestal to reach whatever it was you were trying to accomplish.

But throughout all this, throughout all the constant hate and taunting, guess what?

You made me strong. You showed me that I was unique, and special. That I was not like everyone else. I managed to take every twisted aspect of your views and use them to my benefactor. I used the things you said as a way to work on myself. I started taking time to focus on me, and learning to love every aspect of my body. I also managed to become a better person as a whole. I turned your negative opinions into a reason to better myself.

When I look in the mirror, I see a young woman who is proud of herself and how far she has come. I see someone who fought to stay true to herself and who never gave up despite the things you said about her. I am no longer afraid of raising my hand in class, or cautiously approaching a mirror, because your words no longer live within me.

So if I were to ever meet you, if you were ever brave enough and come out from behind that computer screen and come face to face with me, I would not yell at you, I would not scream and ask you why me, instead, I would shake your hand, thank you for everything you have taught me, and walk away with my head up.

I am one to fully believe that some things happen to you and some things happen for you. I one hundred percent fully believe that you, anonymous bully, happened for me.

Signed,

A stronger, happier, more confident person.