Now that the weather is starting to resume its usual blazing hell here in California (and just being normal everywhere else), everyone’s talking about the most iconic part of the summer season; going to the beach. For some people, this means finally shedding their winter layers and going on the hunt for a new bathing suit to flaunt while tanning or playing volleyball on the beach. For other people like me who are never quite in tune with the seasons, it means breaking out all of the cute swimsuits you bought for cheap in the off-season but haven’t had a chance to wear yet.
I came across a fellow Odyssey creator’s article earlier today titled “To Girls Wearing ‘Cheeky’ Bathing Suit Bottoms, Please Stop”. If you had even the slightest hope that slut-shaming was finally on the decline in our society, you were terribly wrong.
“Just type ‘Bathing Suit Trends for 2017’ into your Google search bar and ‘Cheeky’ bikini bottoms will more than likely be at the top of your list. Coming from a female who cares about her body and self-image, this not only makes me angry but disappointed in the lack of value that women still have today.”
Coming from a female who cares about her body and self-image, the article quoted above “not only makes me angry but disappointed” that women have to deal with slut-shaming not only from men, but from fellow women as well. It “not only makes me angry but disappointed” that some people lack the ability to support their fellow human beings. It “not only makes me angry but disappointed” that it’s 2017 and we’re still shaming women for exercising agency over their own bodies by choosing to show them off in a way that’s empowering.
“First off, why should it be socially acceptable to wear basically a thong around in public in the summer months?"
Why should it be socially acceptable for girls in grade school to be held so strictly to dress code standards that deem shirt straps not wider than two fingers as unacceptable because they’ll “distract boys from learning”, while boys get away with wearing saggy pants that literally show off their entire ass? Why should it be socially acceptable to criticize women for wearing cheeky bikini bottoms that show off their assets, and not criticize men for wearing speedos that show off their assets?
"Have bathing suit companies forgotten that often times, women are around young children and family members when sporting a bathing suit?"
What some people don’t realize is that children don’t see the world the same way adults do. We, as adults, have learned to sexualize the female form because that’s just what happens when you grow up in a misogynistic, patriarchal society; the type of society that blames women for being raped, pays them less money than men for the same work, doesn’t allow them to make decisions about their own bodies even if their physical health and life are on the line, and shoves an unrealistic set of beauty criteria riddled with impossible double standards down their throat.
Children don't have those biases. They don’t sexualize the female form like adults do. When they see a body, they just see a body. When they see a boob, they just see a boob. They haven’t learned to think in the twisted and unfair ways that a lot of adults do.
"More importantly, what does it teach the younger generation who see women wearing these types of bathing suits? It surely doesn't teach them about having self-respect or dignity in themselves.”
It’s going to teach them that there is a wide variety of body shapes and sizes in this world; something that they won’t find in any of the fitness, fashion, or gossip magazines that they’ll start to read when they get older, or on any of the social media sites that they’ll start to spend hours poring over. It’ll teach them to have self-respect and dignity, because they’ll realize that they have the right to control their own bodies and the right to dress however they want, no matter what anyone around them says.
If there's anything that's going to teach women to not respect themselves, it’s telling them that all of the responsibilities of the world are on them. They're responsible for controlling how other people - men and women - see and treat them. They're responsible for remaining classy, chaste, and pure at all times, but naughty when their husbands or boyfriends want them to be. They're responsible for having kids, but at the same time always having their shit together, working a job (or multiple jobs) to support their family, being thin and pretty, cooking and cleaning, raising their kid(s), and maintaining a thriving social life. They're responsible for not getting raped. They're responsible for being strong and authoritative but not bitchy. They're responsible for being successful but not more successful than the men around them.
“Now, I understand people are going to disagree with me saying things such as ‘Women should be free to wear whatever they want, men exercise that right, why shouldn't we?’ or ‘If you're confident in it, rock it.’ Which if you're one of these people, I understand where you are coming from, BUT do you often see men roaming around in a speedo to attract attention? The answer to that question is obviously no."
If you went up to someone and said “hey, pay attention to me”, that would be asking for attention. Wearing a bathing suit on the beach is not a call for attention, and the mentality that believes it is, is exactly why a lot of the time when a woman reports a sexual assault, the first thing people ask is “What were you wearing? How much did you drink?”, as if a man still forcing himself inside a woman despite any and all pleas she makes for him to stop is somehow her fault.
"Also, I'm all for the self-confidence, you should feel amazing and proud of what you wear; however, a line needs to be drawn firmly in the sand in regards to what is appropriate and what is not and ‘cheeky’ bathing suit bottoms are not appropriate."
If you feel the need to draw a line so badly, don’t draw one between what’s “appropriate” for women to wear and what’s not. Draw it between your unsolicited slut-shaming and the rest of us who believe in equality, because your antiquated view of women is the only thing that's not appropriate here.
"I mean think of yourself as a parent, would you want to see your daughter flaunting ‘her stuff’ in a bathing suit that barely covers anything while boys flock to her every side? I think not.”
If I had a daughter, I would want her to be comfortable enough in her own skin to wear whatever made her happy. I would want her to know that the only person who needs to approve of her body is herself. I would want her to have enough self-confidence to recognize that the bullshit some people say to her has more to do with that other person’s insecurities than it does with her. I would want her to know that I would support her no matter what because she’s my daughter and I would want nothing more than for her to grow into the extraordinary individual that she's meant to be. I wouldn’t want my daughter to waste her life being someone that she’s not because she’s too worried about what other people will think. I wouldn’t want her to let someone else tell her what she can and can’t do with her body.
“Although I know many women this summer will not be listening to my advice, however, for those of you who do, thank you for showing respect to your bodies as well as yourselves. Our world needs more women like you to prove that we are characters of substance and value, not just itemized beauty to gawk at.”
Although I hope many women this summer will be listening to my advice, for those of you who don’t, I’m sorry that you feel so constrained by the misogynistic messages that have been ingrained into you that you don’t feel like you have the freedom to wear whatever you want. Choosing to show off your body doesn’t mean you lack self-respect, just like choosing to cover your body doesn’t make you a “prude”. It’s all about what makes you feel confident and empowered.
So whether you’re wearing a full-coverage one piece, a cheeky two-piece, or anything really, own it. Be the woman that your younger self needed. Be the woman that your niece, sister, best friend, or daughter needs. Be the woman who leaves this world at the end of her days in peace and contentment because she knows that she did everything she ever wanted to do. Be the woman who is fearless in pursuing whatever she wants to pursue. Our world needs more women like you to prove that we are characters of substance and value, not just itemized beauty to gawk at.
