To Date or Not To Date
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Relationships

To Date or Not To Date

How the culture of my school discourages casual dating.

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To Date or Not To Date
Andrea Daugherty

At my school, dating culture is often criticized amongst students. Yet, when you think about it, those same students are the ones contributing to the dating culture in one way or another. That's beside the point though, as the dating culture here has, in my opinion, truly made it difficult for both guys and girls to get to know each other through dating. Is not the point of dating to find out who you want to marry? Therefore, the better you know a wide range of people, the better you are attuned to the type of person you best get along with. Here, it feels as though students tend to get stuck on the idea of dating to marry, as opposed to dating to get to know others.

I firmly believe that the end goal of dating is to find a spouse, or at least figure out if you want to marry or not. However, the process of deciding who you want to marry should consist of meeting and making friends with as many people as possible. Thus, I would argue that it is more than acceptable to go out on dates with a number of people. Don't be ashamed to "play the field" as people say, though I find that term both demeaning and misleading. My point is that often times people view going on dates as commitment right out of the gate, though it's often a simple act to see how the two of you get along. Then, rightfully so, students are wary to ask others on dates, as they worry that someone might think less of them for it. In fact, I've heard conversations and had some myself in which someone will criticize another for the way they interact with those of the opposite gender, or else how they handle romantic relationships.

We should encourage one another to go out on dates with as many people as we want. Going out on a date isn't a commitment to emotional and physical affection. That comes after you find someone who you believe may be a good spouse. However, you have to take the time to date in order to figure out who you may want to marry. On that note, I'd go as far to say it's healthy to get to know multiple people in a short period of time through dating, so that you have a broad view of the type of people that are out there for you, and that it may be easier to choose the one that is best fit for you to develop a relationship with.

Too often, Christians in general, and especially those here at Grove City, assume that going on a date will lead to some form of emotional investment, or at least that whoever asked them on a date wants that. For some people, that may be the case. But I would attribute that to society's view as well as our own community's view of the act of dating and what we should expect from it.

My encouragement to you is to take control of your own dating life and forget what others may say on the matter. If you want to marry someone who you are certain you'll be happy with forever, I suggest you get to know enough people to be confident in your decision. If you settle for the first person who asks you to dinner, you'll never know what else is out there.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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