Hi.

If you clicked on this, then you probably are getting ready to leave for college. Maybe you are already settled in, and your classes have begun, so you think this doesn't apply to you any longer.

Coming from my own experience, you are still barely even beginning this next chapter of your life.

A year ago, I was exactly in your position. I can still remember the excitement that I felt building up inside of me as I prepared during my final weeks of the summer before I moved into my freshman dorm at NYU. I was anxious to buy all of the supplies for my dorm, pack my belongings, and move into my residence hall. I was hopeful for meeting new friends, exploring New York City, and choosing my own schedule. It had become a countdown to the day that so many people had told me "my life would begin."

But nobody had mentioned the gut-wrenching fear and sadness I would experience. The aching sorrow of leaving my town, my family, and my friends had never been mentioned to me. People always insinuated that the parents are the only ones who will feel overcome by these emotions of loneliness and sorrow. It was only in the final few days before moving in that I realized that in order to progress forward, I would be leaving a substantial part of my life-and myself-behind.

I always find change extremely challenging, but most recently I came to the realization that the past serves such a critical purpose. When we choose to dwell on it, it can be difficult to move forward, but when we acknowledge how it has helped us to get where we currently are, it instills in us a greater understanding of ourselves-both our strengths, and our qualities we have the potential to change for our betterment. My time in high school and even middle school has contributed to my development and personal growth, yet in moving forward as I entered college, I could reevaluate my mistakes and make new decisions with the past in mind.

Everybody feels somewhat anxious and excited going into college. It is the ultimate opportunity to reinvent yourself in many respects. You can become more involved in extracurricular interests, dedicate yourself to your academic performance, and/or become more social and exude a new fearlessness in your relationships. Whatever "path" you choose to take, I strongly recommend the following: never lose faith in who you are, what you are worth, and what you hold closest to you in terms of both beliefs and morals. Unfortunately, this need to "reinvent yourself" trumps any motive to become grounded in your beliefs and ideas.

In the first few weeks of school, some people fall prey to this need to become a new version of themselves so that others will accept them. In doing so, they hover in a space where they have abandoned not just their old flaws, but also their prior beliefs, worldviews, and traits. I myself felt an overwhelming pressure to adjust parts of my personality according to what others found more interesting and exciting. Before college, I thought I was too quiet for other people's liking. I hoped to become less shy and more outgoing and resolved to do so in my final months before school began.

However, once school began, I felt a fear that I had begun talking too much, and that my peers had found it to be a nuisance. Instead of becoming the person I had intended to become-someone more assured and vocal about my thoughts and ideas, I had tailored my behaviors so that this new group of people would "like me more." Of course, this had all been in my head. Yet at the time, the logic had been so clear. People in college are "chill" and "low-key," and with this preconception in my mind I discerned that I had gone from being "too shy" to "too loud" in the short span of time that I had to make my initial impressions at school.

You often hear that college is the time to "find yourself," but what does that truly mean? Does it suggest that you were not your most authentic self in high school? If so, why would college be different? Can a more independent setting completely free you to find your confidence and discover your own dreams and worth?

The simplest answer is, no. Even though a college campus miles and miles away from your home offers a new environment, without a committed sense of self, you cannot expect to become a more confident and "authentic" version of yourself. In fact, when we are initially removed from our comfort zone, we have an intrinsic need to belong and conform. So yes, people do have the potential to "find themselves" in college, but it is just as easy to lose yourself, especially in those first few months. Just as I had done with feeling self-conscious about being "too talkative," people can feel caught up with expectations that they devise in their own heads about college.

In order to avoid these mistakes that complicated my first few weeks, and perhaps even my first few months at school, I encourage you to find that confidence in yourself early on. Before you allow the social pressures or academic stresses to hinder your personal growth in college, reflect on what you hope to be not just during your first years of college, but also in the later future. Do you want to become less apologetic for vocalizing your opinions? Maybe you hope to exude an independent confidence that allows you to be your own leader, rather than a follower who hopes to please others. As many people before me have said in other words that differ slightly from my own, the foundation for strong relationships, academic successes, and even extracurricular triumph is personal strength and understanding.

Going into college, you are in a sense advancing and leaving a past chapter of your former life behind, but the only way you can expect to grow and thrive is to be in touch with your emotions and past, confident and ready to seize your future. Be unapologetic for being the version of you who you aspire to be independent of any outside influences, and in that, you will feel most socially adept and intellectually acute.