I've spent such a large part of my life relying on other's opinions of me. I have let this shape me for so long. Every time I picture myself, I picture other's opinions of me. I also generally don't picture the good opinions; you know, the ones that are supposed to make me feel better about myself.
The point is, I could get a million good compliments, but one insult sets me back miles away. I will be stuck on that one opinion for weeks, maybe even months.
This is something I struggle with on a regular basis. While I try to hide it, I want to be a people pleaser. I want people to associate my name with "fun" and "kindness", and even something that slightly veers from this is enough to put me in a depressed mood.
It's taken me a long time to come to terms with who I actually am. If we are being honest, I'm still working on it. I'm constantly having to remind myself that the place I am in life is solely my hard work, and that I did it myself. I am constantly having to remind myself that I am worthy.
So to everyone who's ever made me feel otherwise, this one's for you...
I am worthy. No matter what you say. No matter what you think. Your opinion at this point is irrelevant. You may have just been saying it to get under my skin, and trust me, for a minute there, you did that and so much more. You probably didn't even realize how hard you hit me, because I don't let my emotions show very openly. But just know, that I know you were wrong. And for everyone else you've torn down, because I'm sure it's not just me, know that your negative opinions aren't even worth any thought.
It's not a miracle cure, but at least I can recognize the situation. Sure, words do hurt. But I also have enough strength to sit back and realize all of the good things that have been said about me. Generally, I have to remind myself that people who deal out negative opinions about other people are either jealous or just want everyone to feel as horrible as they do.
Life is already hard enough. Don't make it harder for someone just because you want to see them fall.
