Hey Boy,

Why are you so afraid of committing anyways?

Right, I hear you. You have your own stories, baggage, and fear. Commitment is scary and risky, but life wouldn’t be worth living if there’s no risk or adventures involved, right? Better loved and get hurt than never have loved. Right, there’s no guarantee if we’re gonna work out or not, but that’s part of life. No one ever knows what is gonna happen except for God.

All we can do is to just hold on to whatever we have and fight for whatever we believe in, hoping that we made the right decision that will last into future. If it’s not meant to be, then there’s really nothing we can do. But at least we tried, loved, and fully and fearlessly enjoyed what we have. Then, we’ll move on to accept whatever God had planned for us next.

Remember, though, even if it doesn’t work out between us, we did NOT make a wrong choice. It’s still part of God’s plan because He’s teaching us and shaping us into who we need to be for the future. Boy, you’re right. Bad endings might happen. No matter how much we love and care for each other right now, there’s no promise we will work out and be together forever.

All we can do is to choose to love each other every chance we have, treasure what we have every step of the way, and enjoy what we share every second of the days. I know, it’s very scary to not know what is gonna happen. But sometimes, most of the times, you just have to take a leap of faith.

When I was working at a middle-schooler summer camp, we had this “leap of faith” activity. A camper will climb up a pole to about 30 feet off of the ground, and then jump from the platform to reach for a bar hanging about 6 feet in front of them in the air. The leap is no doubt scary, even when you know you have the harness on. But, you just have to jump. Just commit. Then, you’ll find out it’s not so scary after all. If you can grab the ‘bar’, GREAT! If you miss the ‘bar’, at least you can proudly say that you tried and survived. No, not just survived. You experienced, learned, grew, and became a better/braver you.

Of course, when you’re taking the leap, you’re not gonna go in expecting or even planning to fail. That’s not helpful and you’ll know you didn’t give it everything you have. No, you’ll stand at the edge of that platform, take a deep breath, fix your eyes on that bar, and then give every ounce of strength you have to reach for that bar. You will try with all your heart to make the relationship work and keep your commitment. Only then can you say you’ve tried and that’s just the way it has to be.

But also know that you can’t fail in this. If you grabbed the bar and kept your commitment, you earned the applause and love for you. If you “fail” to grab the bar or have to break off the relationship, you know you learned and gained something in the process.

God designed this to help you grow so that next time when you’re standing on the platform, your heart may still pound and your palms may still sweat, but you know you are brave enough to take the leap and enjoy the view. God will never give up on you, just like the harness will keep you safe. Sure, it will be uncomfortable when you fall and get wedges from the tight harness. But, you know deep down that you’re always SAFE.

So Boy, if you’re afraid to commit because you’re afraid to fail, take that leap of faith, because there’s no way you can fail in God’s hands.

Much love,

Girl

P.S. I promise we’re still gonna be friends if it doesn’t work out, as long as you still want to be friends.