I am a college Freshman and I just have to say, this is a sucky time to be starting college.
I know there is a lot going on around the world and sometimes it feels stupid to complain about your problems, especially if they seem so little compared to others. But that doesn't mean you can't be sad if something was cut short or taken away from you.
I feel sad because my first year of college went by too fast and I know we're technically all still in school. Trust me I know, I am still doing schoolwork, but it isn't the same at all. For anyone that is a college student right now and had to be sent home due to this virus, you know what I'm talking about.
College is more than showing up to class and doing homework. It's a time to make friends, grow, have fun and learn more than what's taught in a classroom. A person can discover who they are sometimes thanks to college.
Yeah, sometimes college sucks and all you want to do is go home to snuggle with your pets and see your family, but once you do, you want to go back right away. There's something about college that is different from home and for someone like me who had the same routine every day, it was amazing. I met people I never knew before who became really important in my life. I learned lessons and realized who was my friend and who wasn't. I loved, I cried, I got angry a lot of times, but I stuck with it and in the end, It changed me.
When I first started college in September, I was a completely different person than when I left in March. I was supposed to change even more, but I never got the chance because before I left for spring break they sent out the email. The one that no one wanted to see, and the one that most teachers were not expecting. We were not coming back to campus after spring break, I couldn't believe it. This year was supposed to be longer.
I called my mom right away. I felt sad, angry and confused, I didn't know what to think. Everything was changing so fast and I was starting to lose it, but I didn't. No matter how many times I have relied on others to help me stay calm during the whole year, I did it all on my own this time. I kept calm and realized what needed to be done.
I had my car up with me, but it was tiny. My mom said she could come up and help me, but I wanted to get out as soon as I could. Plus, I knew that I needed to do this all on my own. There isn't a lot of things I have done completely on my own, but packing up my room in 24 hours two months early was one of them. It was a lot of work and I had a lot of stuff. I didn't even know if it could all fit in my car, but for the most part, it did. I had to take at least 25 trips up and down the stairs. My room was on the third floor in an old dorm building, which meant no elevator. I enjoyed living on the third floor, except when it came to moving in and out of the room. It was a lot of work, but I am really proud that I did it mainly on my own. I do have to admit at the very end I did have a friend come over and help me carry down one thing, but It definitely made a difference. She helped me rearrange everything to fit in my car and then I was off.
The drive back home wasn't too bad, but I couldn't see that great out my back window since there was so much junk in my car. I did manage and clearly made it home safe and sound. The whole day was pretty stressful though. I woke up early to move my car closer so I could pack it up. I also had two classes that day with a test in both of them. So that was extra stressful and right when I finished the last class I raced back to my room to start packing. At this point, it was a race against time. I wanted to get on the road by 12 ish and I didn't leave until after 2 pm. There was so much junk to pack and I was making the trips all by myself. Plus I had to keep stopping for breaks or else I would've actually passed out. I didn't eat lunch, because I was going to eat on the road, but by 2 pm I wasn't that hungry. The one thing on my mind was to get out of that crazy place and see my parents. I couldn't believe how much of a rush I was to leave that place since I miss it so much right now.
I didn't even get to see my friends very much that day. I wish I had more time to spend with them before I knew that I wasn't going to see them for months. I wish I could've told them how much my freshmen year changed because of them. What a big difference it made and how they helped me become a better version of myself. I didn't realize how much of a crap person I was coming into college. I didn't realize it, because I never had to. I didn't worry about people liking me or losing friends, because I was me. I was chill, quiet and stayed away from drama, so there wouldn't be a reason for me to lose friends. It wasn't anything I had experienced in high school. I had some friends that I lost touch with but we didn't fight or have something really serious happen between us. Plus I always had my mom too, so friends were important, but they were looked at as a second option. It's sad to think I spent most of high school doing this and I didn't even realize it.
I was always afraid to speak up and show emotions. Sometimes your friends need to know how much they mean to you and it's okay to get a hug or to give them a gift for no reason. It's okay to run when they call for help because you don't want to see them hurt or because you care so much you generally want to help them succeed.
I also did this thing when I would get mad at myself and sometimes it ended with me crying. I wasn't the best version of myself and I knew it, but yet it took me forever to realize what the problem was. I still haven't completely figured it out and I could probably be better, but for right now this is me. I already know that once everything isn't so crazy I will work on becoming better and appreciating everything more. This year wasn't perfect and it definitely was supposed to be longer for all of us. For college freshmen, this probably was not the year you were imagining when you were daydreaming about college. I know I had a lot I thought would happen and even had the perfect spring break planned. Instead of what I dreamed of, my freshmen year got cut short and I didn't get to do most of the things I had planned for spring break.
No matter how frustrated I am, I know that I still have next year, but some people don't even have that. I am glad that this isn't my senior year and in no way, am I trying to say that my problem is the worst one. That isn't true at all and I'm not even complaining, I am simply trying to make any college freshman out there who is in the same boat as me, feel better about the situation. We didn't have the perfect freshmen year, but I hope you at least got something out of it, I know I did. I learned a lot of lessons, made friends and even got over one of my biggest fears, to do things alone when I don't feel capable. I do have to say that there is nothing wrong with asking for help. If someone needed help packing, fine. If you don't have the skill to fix something, fine. If you can't lift something on your own, then fine, get some help. I will still need help doing things, but I know now that I don't need help all the time, I just want it. I would've loved help moving out and carrying all the stuff, but I didn't need it, instead, I did the whole thing mainly on my own. I could've even finished on my own, but I took the help from my friend because I wanted to see her. I wanted to say goodbye to one of my friends before I drove off.
I never imagined that this was how I was going to pack up my room and leave college, but it's what happened. I am sorta glad it did because if I left in May I probably wouldn't have done it myself and instead had my family help me pack. I'm not saying that I will always pack up my room by myself from now on, but I am saying that I can if I need to. The lesson I learned in the middle of March was not that I need to pack up on my own from now on because I can, it was that I can do things on my own. I am capable of doing more things than I think. Do I wish this year was longer? Yes. Do I wish I could've experienced a lot more on-campus events? Yes. Do I wish I could still be with my friends having fun? Of course! But there is nothing I can do about it.
To all college freshmen, seniors, and anyone else who is sad they got sent home early, I am truly sorry this is how the end of the year panned out. Let's try to focus on the positive things this year brought us and only worry about what we can control. There is no use feeling bummed all the time, instead make most of this time! Start preparing for next year, looking at colleges, filling out scholarships or working on a project you never got around to. Make the most of what's left of your freshmen year and just wait for next year to make it even better!
So yes, I am a college freshman who wished this year was longer, but I am also glad of what came of my freshman year as well.