There are about four or five weeks until finals. Which means I'm screwed. So here are six tips on how to fail your finals! It's fun, I promise.
1. Netflix and Absolutely Nothing
Go binge watch Grey's Anatomy. That's all I've got. There are literally thirteen seasons of it online for your enjoyment. The later seasons include my favorite ship: Japril. I am forever and always a Japril shipper. My apologies to those of you that hate April Kepner.
2. Go outside!
Instead of boxing yourself inside your apartment, dorm, library desk, etc. maybe go find a tree! Then climb it! Then take a selfie of you at the top. Then another in the ambulance after you fall out of it.
3. Do the dishes.
They've been piling up. Just get rid of them. I know you know what I'm talking about. And if you live at home like me, go do it before your mom gets home and yells at you. Maybe try a new technique while you're at it! I don't know what techniques could be used to clean dishes, but with your procrastination skills, I'm sure you'll find one!
4. Set Up Your Desk To Study...
...Then scroll through Tumblr for a couple of hours. It's quite fun getting lost in the tags. My personal favorites are the Haute Couture Fashion Week tags and the Mr. Robot tag. I could spend hours just staring at Rami Malek's face. How could you not?
5. Workout
Fool yourself into a false sense of productivity by going to the gym and hitting up the treadmill. Spend about 45 minutes on cardio, then try to get the weights in. Building up muscle means more calorie burning outside the gym! Don't forget to take a long shower afterwards and contemplate your existence.
6. Read a Book
Dig out that book you bought for that English class you took last semester but never did any of the work for. Maybe you'll actually enjoy the novel! When you finish it, you can go through what you remember learning from the class and be amazed by all of the things you missed out on!
So now it's May 13th, you've missed every exam and essay deadline and that crisis you were in before has definitely set in now. Maybe hit up your local registrar, quit college, and rob a bank! Let me know how it goes, thanks!
