Tips For Dating An Introvert

Dating is already difficult enough, right? You're diving in to a new relationship, sometimes with someone you've known, and others with complete strangers and you get to learn about their personalities, experiences, likes, dislikes, habits, etc. in detail. But going about developing a new relationship is crucial depending on your personality and the personality of your significant other. If you're not careful, you could accidentally break the relationship before it even gets to bloom. As an introvert dating an extrovert, I can personally say we've hit a few bumps because of our clashing personalities, so it's important to establish certain boundaries on your journey together. With my experience, I’d like to think I’m decently educated in how to properly court a male or female of interest that so happens to be an introvert. Introverts aren’t typically ones to make small talk—it takes unnecessary energy from us that we’re already losing just being around other people; we prefer deep, meaningful talks about nothing in particular. If a seemingly quiet, wallflower-type person is interested in you, s/he will likely have no problem initiating or participating in small talk with you—despite it being mentally and physically draining. Potential love interests are worth the energy.

First dates can make or break your relationship with an introvert—obviously like any other first date, but with introverts, first dates are fragile. Like I mentioned earlier, being around other people is exhausting, so it’s crucial to choose the first dates wisely. Avoid places or activities that usually have crowds; first dates are already nerve-racking, and being around so many people can add on to that nervousness. Your first few dates don’t even have to be in public, they can be at one another’s place. Carnivals, concerts, and movies (at a theater) are bad ideas. Unless the introvert suggests it, it’s a good idea to save those dates for a later time. Introverts aren't usually willing to make such an uncomfortable sacrifice so early on in a relationship. The safest first dates are almost anything one-on-one, out of the public eye.

Generally, extroverts should try to rein in their need to be out and about all the time. Try to involve your introvert boy/girlfriend in outgoing activities here and there, but don't force it. If it has to be forced, it shouldn't be done. On that same note, introverts should come out of their comfort zones every once in awhile willingly. It's a give-and-take on both parts. You can't expect one side to give up what they want while the other gives up nothing.

Introverts need time to recharge after socializing, even if they were just socializing with a single person. Understand that this is a necessary "evil", quoted because extroverts might not see it as relieving as introverts do. Guilt-tripping introverts for needing a little time to themselves is basically a deal breaker. Once you’re a good ways into the relationship, you won’t be draining as much energy from your introverted significant other like you were in the beginning. With time, the comfort you give to him/her will provide energy rather than take it. Then you can be like a human battery; if you don’t mind, that is.

(Small disclaimer: Obviously these don't go for everyone as no two people are the same, it's just a generalization. This should be self-explanatory.)