Last spring, after getting out of a bad relationship, a few of my friends suggest that I download Tinder in order to meet new people and get myself back out there after almost two years, so I said why not?
I downloaded the app and made a profile. I quickly started to use the app, swiping left and right to meet new people, trying to move on from my ex. I started matching with people, but I realized that I wanted another relationship, and let me tell you, that is not what Tinder is for.
Being my naïve self, I decided to keep using Tinder here and there, in hopes maybe one or two people I matched with were looking for the same thing. Not the case.
Even though I wasn’t getting what I was looking for I continued to use the app all spring and summer because, let’s get real here, while I never met up with anyone I matched with, it was nice to know people thought I was attractive.
I had no luck with my original purpose for using Tinder, and I slowly started to hate myself and I couldn’t figure out why. I loved myself before and I was comfortable with how I looked, so I didn’t see why this was happening all of a sudden.
Then one day I sat down and told myself I was going to do a five-day social media cleanse. I was getting too addicted to my phone and I didn’t like it, so I gave up all social media, including Tinder.
I started to feel like myself again after a few days. I realized that using Tinder made me feel like crap all the time. The way Tinder works is that it tracks your location and finds people who are near you that also use the app. Well, I live in a small town so once you swipe through all 40 or so people in your age group who use Tinder, you are S.O.L.
I realized because I had swiped left on most people, that I was getting less and less male attention. The guys I did swipe right on, and matched with, were getting irritated that I was too nervous to hang out with them. In reality, I just wanted another boyfriend, that was all I had known throughout high school. But as I found out, Tinder is for hookups, and that’s not me.
I eventually made the connection that I felt like shit because I had gone from a new Tinder user that guys swiped right on to a “prude” in their eyes who stopped getting matches and messages because she doesn’t put out to strangers. The instant attention all the time dwindled to almost none and I felt unwanted. I later learned that it happens to a lot of people.
Once you get used to being paid attention to all the time, it makes you feel crappy when no one is complimenting you or matching with you on Tinder. Once I finally noticed that, I deleted Tinder permanently, and haven’t used it since. I feel 1000x better and when the time is right, a good guy will come along and we won’t have to lie to people about meeting on Tinder.
