The “…why?” feeling. Maybe you knew it before you read the title (I salute you), and maybe you have no idea what it is (I applaud you). Some (such as myself) may have this feeling more than others. Some may have this feeling everyday. While some may live in fear of this feeling, some may boast and live in this feeling. Whoever you are, we all know this feeling, the feeling of doing something accidentally, incredibly, amazingly, substantially, maybe even sporadically- stupid. The “...why” feeling isn’t a pitiful “why me” type of feelings, but more of an, “Oh my gosh I just did this and my parents and everyone I know are going to laugh at my face,” kind of feeling. “Why?” as in what why are you serious. Maybe you have this feeling toward you friends or roommates. Maybe you don’t have this feeling and you are the friend or roommate that triggers this feeling.
If you know me, you know I am sporadic, I rarely think things through, and most people give up trying to tell me my idea is terrible and will never work because there no kind of structure or plan to it. If you don’t know me, buckle the seat belts.
“What,” you may ask. “Me?” You. Yes, you. You have that feeling too.
Try not to think of your last “why” feeling moment. Or maybe do.
Ever heard the saying, “Whatever you have done, someone has been there and done worse than you?” Here I am, I have done worse /significantly more stupid things than you.
We have all been there, we all can laugh about it now.
College has been the time I have perfected the “why” feeling — and even caused friends, family members, co-workers, parents, and probably even my roommate’s dog to gaze upon me with the infamous “why” feeling burning in their hearts and souls.
The short list.
1. The Time I Tried to Invent a New Insect Repellent
Have you ever had a pesky ant problem? Me too. Have you ever almost burned your house down because you lit hair spray on fire trying to burn the ant colony out of the ground and it caught your grass, fire bed, porch, and almost your house on fire? No? Same ... not. Wish I could say the same, but I can’t. Sorry for potential arson, Fort De Lis..
“Why?” – my roommates.
2. The Time (1/3) I Was Sent to the Hospital for Intramurals
It was an intense game of soccer for Pi Phi M team (that’s right suckers, team M out of teams A-M), and we were tied 2-2 with three minutes left in the game. Win. At. All. Costs. Or risk losing what could be 10 out of 12 intramural championship years. Not my thing. Because M team is obviously detrimental to our success streak. Win at all costs. Even if that means running full speed and diving head first into another opponent, tripping on the soccer ball, and eating shoulder first into the ground. The result? One dislocated shoulder, concussion, legitimately cuts and blood covering my whole body, one trip to the ER, missing a date event, and getting embarrassed that I cried in the middle of the intramural field.
To the entire paragraph above: “Why?”
3. The Time I Though That It Was Smart to Adopt a Puppy
“London are you sure you want to do this?” asked my friend as I went over to her house to buy the puppy. Because college, life, youth group, float chair, and an internship weren’t enough for me last semester. I am going to be upfront and honest: I have taken in four dogs in my life time. Currently, I have no dogs. I will let you do the math. I am the definition of the worst. Recently I adopted (for three days) a small ball of fluff named Laramie. For everyone who is judging me right now (especially you who are disciplined enough to raise a dog) please check your statistics: one in four college dog owners find a new home for their adopted friends (don’t check, I just made that up).
“Why London why?” – myself.
4. The Time I Lost My Phone (Part 1/5,678)
I honestly do not feel the need to justify this one. If you are in college, this has without a doubt happened to you at some point. Instead of justifying, here are a list of places I have left my phone.
On top of my car.
In my trash can.
In class.
On the gas station pump.
In the bathroom of Hooper Schaefer.
At he Thunder/Mavs Game.
In the Wichita Mountains Nature Preserve (lost for good).
Common Grounds.
Underneath a Tire (how’d it get there?).
Friend’s house (multiple occurrences).
Torchy's in the queso (long story).
In a random strangers car.
“Why?” – my parents.
5. The Time that I was Sent to the Hospital Not Relating to Intramurals
Did anyone else knock out their teeth the first month of their freshman year of college? There no possible way I can be the only one who did this. Apparently free climbing a waterfall isn’t the “safest” route to take when hiking around. Will never forget falling into a river and spitting out my teeth, and hiking an hour back to the car, not to mention the random strangers that gave us a ride because they felt sorry for me. Yeet. Made for a great ice breaker though. Shout out to the dentist who biked six miles to is office to glue new teeth into my mouth.
“Why?” – the dentist.
6. The Time I Looked at My Keys Sitting in My Passenger Seat as I Locked The Door in the Middle of the Woods
Have you ever wished you could stop something as it is happening? This is something I will unashamedly admit crosses my mind. Multiple. Times. A day. I had just been fly-fishing and hiking all afternoon. I was on the phone and went to lock my car because I was as a gas station in the middle of the woods nowhere. Nothing like that feeling let me tell you. In slow motion with the Rocky Balboa soundtrack playing -- I tossed my keys into my locked car and slammed the door. There they were. In slow motion I screamed in a deep Morgan Freeman-esque voice “Noo." Too late. The deed was done.
“Why?” – the pop a lock guy.
7. The Time I Was Sent to the Hospital for Intramurals (Part 2/3)
At this point, my intramural record is stupid. I have played six intramurals and only been able to finish four healthy. Fracturing your arm because you dive into a wall to save a loose ball isn’t as cool when you’re a washed up athlete intramural try hard instead of high school athlete. You win again, gravity, physics, and the laws of being an idiot. Shoutout to every washed up intramural athlete out there who goes way to hard and hurts themselves. This one’s for you.
“Why?” – everyone in the stands.
And finally ... drumroll please.
8. The Biggest Time I Ever Asked Myself “Why” In College
It was a brisk Friday night (November 6, 2015 to be exact). The air was slightly cold, with a nice wind. How did I remember this so well, you ask? The answer is simple. I was laying face up on the concrete with a pounding head, foot, arm, and hip? The cause of this ... well my friends, I was run over by a car.
Before you feel bad for me, don’t. Apparently telling your friends, “No seriously dude go 30,” as you are holding on to the side of the vehicle long boarding, is not smart. We all learn lessons. The amount of looks I have received after telling people this story is laughable. Also, our formal was the very next night and I still went. So ha! Shout-out to those who have been to formal on crutches.
All in all, college is a time to perfect the “why” feeling. A person does more growing in college then I ever thought was possible. College has been a huge reason of why I feel so comfortable in my own skin. College has shown me community, specifically a community who will build me up despite my flaws.
The why feeling is eminent. We all have it eventually. Capitalize on it. Embrace it. Learn from it. Find your people, the people who accept you for you “why” moments and stand by them. Grow. Grow a bunch. Live long and prosper people, and never feel captured by the "why moment.” Instead, live for it.
