Folks, it's time to grow up and stop ghosting.
Ghosting, according to Urban Dictionary, means:
"The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested."
Sounds easy enough, right? You're really not interested in this person anymore, but you don't want to suffer through the awkwardness of confronting them and breaking up, so you just cut them out of your life like Mulan chopping her hair off to go to war. Nobody gets to suffer through the awkwardness of a break-up! Genius!
Um, no. Ghosting people is a cruel, immature way of ending a relationship with someone.
When you ghost someone, you give them a shred of hope that you might return. You completely ignore any and all texts, calls, Snapchats, DM's, carrier pigeons, etc. they send you. So they sit there, waiting and waiting for days or weeks at a time wondering where in the world you went. Maybe you'll come back? Maybe you won't? What is going on!?
If you just ignore them and expect them to "take a hint", you're severing your relationship with them, and you're doing it in the slowest and most painful way possible. It's like getting your arm amputated, but the doctor is doing the procedure with a rusted butter knife. It's unnecessary and extremely messed up.
People who have been ghosted will attest to this: The first thought that runs through your mind is, "What did I do wrong?"
The worst part? That answer never comes. You just have to sit there, stewing in your own self-doubt as this question swirling in your head like a deranged toilet bowl. Did you even do something wrong in the first place? Was it you? Was it them?
"[Ghosting's] not that scary". Well, hate to break it to you, but yes. Yes, it is.
Ghosting someone shouldn't be a joke. We shouldn't be normalizing a culture in which it is OK to just ignore a situation that makes you uncomfortable.
Stop it. Confront it. Grow up.
If you don't have feelings for someone anymore, put on your big boy pants and tell them. Break it off. Tell them the relationship isn't working anymore, and you want to break up. Done. Rip it off like a band-aid.
Yes, of course, it's scary. Of course, it's uncomfortable. But dealing with situations that scare you and make you uncomfortable is a necessary step in growing up and taking responsibility. Like, wow, an adult.
Officially breaking up with someone gives them much-needed closure. With this closure comes acceptance of the lost relationship, which leads to a faster healing process, which then leads to both of you moving on with your lives.
Or, here's a wild concept – talk to them.
If your significant other is doing something that is driving you bonkers, don't slap a "crazy" label on them and then ditch. Act like adults and talk about it. For example:
"I feel uncomfortable when you text me every hour. Can you stop sending so many?"
Simple. You explain how you're feeling and ask them to stop. If they don't stop doing this behavior you deem "crazy", then shoot a quick:
"I'm sorry, but I just don't think this is going to work out."
It's not rocket science.
Ghosting people is an immature way of dealing with a problem. In life, we can't just ignore our problems and hope they'll "take a hint" and disappear.
Because that's just not the way the adult world works.
