Millennials, It's Time To Grow Up And Stop Ghosting People
Relationships

Millennials, It's Time To Grow Up And Stop Ghosting People

No, "She was CRAZY!" is not an excuse.

290
Daniel Apodaca

Folks, it's time to grow up and stop ghosting.

Ghosting, according to Urban Dictionary, means:

"The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested."

Sounds easy enough, right? You're really not interested in this person anymore, but you don't want to suffer through the awkwardness of confronting them and breaking up, so you just cut them out of your life like Mulan chopping her hair off to go to war. Nobody gets to suffer through the awkwardness of a break-up! Genius!

Um, no. Ghosting people is a cruel, immature way of ending a relationship with someone.

When you ghost someone, you give them a shred of hope that you might return. You completely ignore any and all texts, calls, Snapchats, DM's, carrier pigeons, etc. they send you. So they sit there, waiting and waiting for days or weeks at a time wondering where in the world you went. Maybe you'll come back? Maybe you won't? What is going on!?

If you just ignore them and expect them to "take a hint", you're severing your relationship with them, and you're doing it in the slowest and most painful way possible. It's like getting your arm amputated, but the doctor is doing the procedure with a rusted butter knife. It's unnecessary and extremely messed up.

People who have been ghosted will attest to this: The first thought that runs through your mind is, "What did I do wrong?"

The worst part? That answer never comes. You just have to sit there, stewing in your own self-doubt as this question swirling in your head like a deranged toilet bowl. Did you even do something wrong in the first place? Was it you? Was it them?

"[Ghosting's] not that scary". Well, hate to break it to you, but yes. Yes, it is.

Ghosting someone shouldn't be a joke. We shouldn't be normalizing a culture in which it is OK to just ignore a situation that makes you uncomfortable.

Stop it. Confront it. Grow up.

If you don't have feelings for someone anymore, put on your big boy pants and tell them. Break it off. Tell them the relationship isn't working anymore, and you want to break up. Done. Rip it off like a band-aid.

Yes, of course, it's scary. Of course, it's uncomfortable. But dealing with situations that scare you and make you uncomfortable is a necessary step in growing up and taking responsibility. Like, wow, an adult.

Officially breaking up with someone gives them much-needed closure. With this closure comes acceptance of the lost relationship, which leads to a faster healing process, which then leads to both of you moving on with your lives.

Or, here's a wild concept – talk to them.

If your significant other is doing something that is driving you bonkers, don't slap a "crazy" label on them and then ditch. Act like adults and talk about it. For example:

"I feel uncomfortable when you text me every hour. Can you stop sending so many?"

Simple. You explain how you're feeling and ask them to stop. If they don't stop doing this behavior you deem "crazy", then shoot a quick:

"I'm sorry, but I just don't think this is going to work out."

It's not rocket science.

Ghosting people is an immature way of dealing with a problem. In life, we can't just ignore our problems and hope they'll "take a hint" and disappear.

Because that's just not the way the adult world works.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

10 Etsy Father's Day Gifts Under $40 To Support Your Dad And Small Businesses

Stores may still be closed, but the internet is still wide open. So, while you're already shopping online check out Etsy for your Father's Day needs and support small creators.

As June approaches, Father's Day is coming up quickly with it. While they may not ask for much, it's always a nice gesture to give your dad something special to share your appreciation. Although, at the same time, it might be difficult to find the perfect gift either for their humor or that will be practical.

On a normal occasion, it's simple to find a gift for your father figures in stores, but for the times we're currently in our access has become very limited. Small and independent businesses need help now more than ever, so what better time than now to support them? If you're still stuck on what to give for Father's Day, look to this list for some inspiration that won't hurt your wallet too much.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Helpful, Effective Mental Health Resources Specifically For The Black Community

These organizations are qualified, caring, and acknowledging the mental trauma individuals are experiencing.

On May 25, George Floyd died after being pinned to the ground by a Minneapolis police officer. In the last week, protests have sprung up across the nation, demanding justice for Floyd and accountability for police brutality. Social media has also seen widespread conversation regarding Floyd's death, Black Lives Matter, and racism in the United States. Today is #BlackoutTuesday, where many are sharing a single black square to represent unity and support for Black voices.

In light of the heavy climate that our country is facing, it is a safe assumption that many individuals' mental health may be suffering. We wanted to highlight mental health resources and organizations that are Black-owned and prepared to assist in whatever you're going through.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

15 Black-Owned Haircare Brands That Cater As Much To Inclusivity As They Do To Your Locks

Championing Black entrepreneurs who make some of our hair favorites.

The haircare industry is vast. With the rise of social media came hundreds of thousands of empowered, niche brands. Single entrepreneurs came out of the woodwork with hair brands that now, years later, have dedicated cult followings.

Of those multitudes of brands, few cater to all hair types, most made without regard for curly or coily hair. These brands, however, are different.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

4 Women Of Color Share How Racism Affects Their Dating Lives, And Everyone Needs To Listen

"My race is typically a factor in almost everything I do, and with dating, it's no different."

Racism affects the daily lives of people of color in the United States, and other parts of the world, in some capacity every day. When it comes to dating and relationships, this is unfortunately no different.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

13 Movies And Shows On Netflix Directed By Black Men And Women You Need To Watch Now

Take the time right now to watch these fantastic films and TV shows directed by Black men and women.

Netflix

Netflix is notorious for getting us insanely addicted to watching TV and films. From documentaries, true crime, reality, and fiction, we get very sucked in.

Right now the American people are fighting for the lives of our Black brothers and sisters, so instead of watching "The Office" for the 30th time, take the time to watch these 13 films and TV shows directed by Black men and women.

Keep Reading... Show less

I love working out, it makes me feel great. It helps my mood, sleep schedule and I just feel overall healthier. Recently I wanted to focus more on my glutes than I previously had been. At the gym, I would just go to the squat bar to do my thing and call it a day. But since we have been home in quarantine I feel like squats just aren't doing it for me but even if I love doing them. Doing squats I always have felt does more for banging my thighs than it ever did for my butt. It made them so big, which I didn't mind except I felt it made my butt look pretty much the same. Straying from squats, and the fact that gyms will probably remain closed for a while, sent me on a fitness journey to see what other exercises I could do at home with no or very little equipment needed. Hopefully, these exercises will help keep your booty banging.

1. Diamond Leg Lifts

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

10 Podcasts On Race Everyone Should Listen To In Order To Be A Better Ally

Listen and learn, because knowledge is power.

Podcasts are such an integral part of some of our everyday lives that it can be hard to recall a time at which they didn't exist. Podcasts exist on about every single topic, from dating to celebrity gossip and Harry Potter.

Now more than ever, it's likely you're reeling from the news, and (hopefully) wanting to do something about it in order to educate yourself. Podcasts are one of the best ways to get the most up-to-date information in a conversational, personal way from some of today's top educators, scholars, and theorists.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

Stop Pitying Me Because I'm Single, I'm Very Happy With My Relationship With Myself

I don't need your opinions on why I'm single and you're not. We are two different people.

I'm so happy for my friends when they get into relationships, but that doesn't mean they get to have control over my love life, and that is what bothers me. For the record, I've been in four relationships, one lasting for three years, so I do understand relationships.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments