Awareness. Intimacy. Imperfection. Openness. Yes.
On my first night at LSU’s Tiger Awakening Retreat, we were asked to evaluate these aspects of our relationship with God as the weekend unfolded.
Coming from a very Catholic community, high school and family, I have been on my fair share of retreats. I was lucky enough to be surrounded by inspiring and encouraging people every step of the way as I grew up. I was interested in my faith, and always searching for God.
Awareness was not something I thought I struggled with. I knew all of the Catholic teachings, all of the laws. I thoroughly believed in them too. I thought I knew what God wanted from me, and I always tried my best to do the right thing. When I failed, I went to confession.
As the weekend proceeded, however, I began to develop a more in depth awareness than I’d ever delved into before. I became aware of the movements of God, not just what he asked through the Church, but what he actively did and does in the world. The theme of the weekend was, "Into the Heart of Mercy." I started to really dwell over the profound nature of mercy from God—the absurdity that the all-powerful creator would grant us, sinners, forgiveness freely—the tragedy that He died for us, suffered for us—the revelation that He loves us. You guys…He loves us.
This brings me to the next point, Intimacy. Intimacy with God. Woah. Isn’t that an insane concept? Educated in the Catholic faith, and even passionate about it, I have always struggled to form the “relationship” with God that I have seen in so many. You can see it too, when a person is intimate with God. There is an undeniable radiance about them. Over and over again, from speaker to speaker, prayer to prayer, and in adoration, over Awakening I could feel the insistence of God asking for intimacy with me. God wants to be close to me and in my heart, but first I had to let him in.
Why hadn’t I been able to do so before? Why did I lack that intimacy with God? I think I’ve been asking this for all of my life. The answer, I came to realize, is fear. Fear that my persistence in imperfection made me unworthy. How could I expect a real relationship with a God I sinned against so frequently? I’ve always had this idea that before I could ever be truly holy, I first had to become spotless. I had to find a way to stop sinning before I could truly come to God. And being the imperfect human that I am, I have so far been utterly unable to do that.
Realizing this very fear about myself led to a revelation that will certainly change my life forever.
God wants us now. As we are. Imperfect.
How could I have ever thought that I could fix myself? When you really think about it, the entire idea is ridiculous. In my human flaw and weakness, I will never be able to overcome the world and temptation—not alone. We need God to strengthen us. Only with His divine guidance and help can we ever hope to become saints. And that is what He wants from us! He wants to make us saints, you guys! All we need is to trust Him to guide us to our destiny with Him. Catherine of Sienna says, “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.”
We only have to be open. This the part that comes from us. We have to let God work in our lives. It’s as simple as asking Him too, and as difficult as letting go of all control. It’s about trusting him and having faith that He will guide us to our best selves. What I realized, though, is that it all begins with honesty and with prayer. God knows us; there is no need to hide. Tell God what you are afraid to let go of, tell Him of the sins you love and don’t want to leave behind, and then ask Him to do it anyway. Ask Him to change your heart. It all begins with intentions, and it doesn’t have to happen all at once.
These realizations came upon me more clearly and more profoundly than anything I had ever learned before. The message was reiterated through every speech given, every person I spoke too, and, most strongly and loudly, in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, where Jesus looked at me face to face. This was the message God knew that I needed to hear. It gave me the hope I needed to fill the gaping holes in my life.
How is it that three days at a retreat put on by college students made such a difference in my life? How is it that through this experience, in a time of my life where I was close to stagnant in my faith life, I was able to finally hear exactly what God wanted me too?
I have always been told of the power of prayer, and the power of intercessory prayer in particular. The Mystical Body of Christ includes all Christians here on Earth, the souls in Purgatory, and of course the Saints in Heaven. We are all united as a church and we all are able to pray and intercede for one another, a power I had before never fully understood.
During Awakening 63, I realized in a way more powerful than I can explain in this article, the power of the intercessory prayer within the Mystical Body of Christ. The power of the prayers of others is what brought me to the beautiful lessons God wanted to teach me that weekend, lessons that have changed my faith and my life. The outpouring of love that I experienced was truly indescribable. It was through the love of intercession that I was finally able to truly tell God, “Yes” in a way I never have before.
St. Augustine says, “Our hearts were made for you, O Lord, and they are restless until they rest in you.” I, along with 60 other retreatants and so many others who contributed to this retreat, found rest in God in so many different ways.
So be aware—open your eyes to the depth of what is God, be intimate with God—He wants to steal your heart, offer Him yourself with your imperfections, be open—allow him into your heart—and finally, tell Him, “Yes.”
Tiger Awakening is truly an experience that has the power to change lives. Hundreds more have encountered God in each their own ways through the gifts of this retreat. Wherever you are in life, I encourage all students to take this opportunity to attend Tiger Awakening. Enter into a community of love that stems from the power of prayer.
Colossians 3: 14-16
